As someone who's grown up during the free porn era, I've always thought the idea of people spending money on porn or cam girls was completely ridiculous and sad. During the past year or so I found myself spending more money than I'd like to admit on cam girls. I'm deeply ashamed of the fact that I've put the hard earned fruits of my labour into something so pathetic, something that kills my self confidence.
I can relate to falling into the cam girl addiction. I have figured out that in 2020-2021, I spent about $8-$10K on cam girls. And every time afterwards I would say to myself, "never again. there is so much free porn out there why am I paying for it." I eventually realized that I was paying for the cam girls because it made me feel like i was interacting with someone. And these girls are good because they make you feel like they really like you. One girl would say that she wanted to move to the USA and live with me. Of course it was all a work by her, but I kept falling for it. I like to say, "at the time the head on my shoulders was not the one in control." Thankfully over time I was able to conquer the cam girl addiction. Realizing how much I spent was a big slap in the face and wake up call I needed. For a while i kept a post it note on my computer with the number "5,000" to remind myself how much I spent in a year. This way if i thought about going back, I would look at that number and think about all the good things i could have done with that money. In addition, I changed my e-mail to some fake e-mail that I will never remember and changed my password to some random password I won't remember. This way I could never log back into that account again. I admit I could have just created a new account but I consider not doing that as part of the recovery process.
Still working on this recovery myself. Much different than porn, because of the interaction with a real woman.
Struggling with the same issue... I "overcome" the porn problem, and now have a cam girl problem instead... May I ask what apps you used? My biggest concern is that they are not really that safe.
think of it this way: theyre broke harlots who depend on hand-outs from internet strangers. a pitiful lot! dont hold them in any high-esteem at all. despise them!!
I can relate to this as well. Throughout the time that I was in the cam girl bottomless pit, I would say I lost more than 10 thousand dollars. It made me feel extremely low, and it made me realize just how deep my addiction was. When I finally stopped engaging in virtual fantasy play with those cam girls, aside from the fact that I was losing so much money, the fact that these cam girls have become so brazen, obnoxious, robotic, and just downright mean and full of satan, it made me feel so disgusted that I just could not do it anymore.
Money is so hard to come by, for me. I used to deliver fast food. It was very low paying work. And even after the low pay, about 30% of my income went to taxes, which lowered my income even further. I just could not afford to waste money on porn. I've thought of it, honestly. I've been on freelancer websites that allow webcam during interviews and told myself, "It's probably so easy to ask a woman to do something for money via webcam." Of course, those websites didn't allow that solicitation (I think? But who really knows.) Sex is not worth money. It is just not. Are any woman paying money to see my nakedness? Is any woman struggling to stop herself from paying for my nakedness? The desire to pay money is mostly superficial or artificial. It is mostly fueled by subliminal advertisements, especially in websites and lands where prostitution is legal. Sex can spread infections. I would never pay anyone money for human papillomavirus that can increase my chances of cancer. I would not pay any woman who is infecting my fellow brothers with her HIV or risking such infection because condoms can break, slip off, potentially develop microtears, fail to cover all infected skin, and etc. And if a woman is selling her nakedness online, there is a very high chance that she is a prostitute selling sex. Some people may have excess money though. They may have too much money and feel like they can waste it. But I guarantee you, prostitutes and online porn are the worst ways to use the money. Again, you don't know who you are truly paying. You could be giving money to a mother who killed her own kid. You could be paying a woman who hired a hitman to kill her own ex husband. You could be paying a woman who frequently marries and divorces men for their money. You could be paying a woman who hates or is bias against your ancestry, country, or homeland. If I had the choice between throwing away 1000$ in a garbage can or giving it to a woman who hates Americans, then I would throw the money in the can. Of course for the money, she will hide her hate. But overtime, as I return to her again and again for photos, I will know her more and more. Eventually I will discover her hate. And it would hurt so badly, like a marriage with the wrong woman but with absolutely no benefit. I'd only be left with photos of an anti-american woman who genuinely hates my guts but lied to rob me. If I had excess money, then I would honestly invest in marriage instead of prostitution or porn. At least in marriage there is usually more redeemable benefits and less financial investments. There would usually be more authority and laws involved to keep me safe. Of course there may be a bit less sex, but that's a tradeoff or disadvantage that I can manage for the sake of safety. Porn is also free. I believe there is absolutely no difference between paid porn and free porn. Heck, some prostitutes find free porn and sell it to men. But honestly, even free porn is not worth your time either. Whether free or not, porn usually has a cost for the producer: either time or money. Website ownership is usually not free. A website server is usually not free. Internet service is usually not free. Producing porn is usually not free. Even basic porn through drawings with paper and pencil require time, and likely lots of it. Then there are laws restricting porn production, which usually equate to more financial costs. There are also enemies or competitors with malware and viruses who target porn producers, and thus cybersecurity equates to more financial costs. Ultimately, free porn usually really isn't "free." Usually when you come across "free" porn, it contains some advertisement within the video, video title, or etc. "Free" porn images or drawings may have advertisements or sponsors. Some "free" porn is used for blackmail or ransomware. "Free" porn is usually a tool that ultimately legally or illegally draws consumers into paying for porn, because "free" porn is usually too costly to truly provide for free. Years ago when I watched porn, I remembered unsolicited ads in videos and websites. I don't think my transition from cartoon porn to camera porn was natural or accidental but rather through ads. I remember my computer acting differently after visiting porn websites too.
