Spanish speaker from Colombia

Hey guys. I'm a porn addict (its weird and chocking to write that) in recovery (sorry for my English).
I think this post is for finally admitting to the world I have a problem with porn. So, this is the first time I admit publicly I have a porn addiction.
I started going to a 12 steps groups a few months ago, regarding a different addiction, and now I feel I need to use that program to help me with this issue. It was weird to find this page because I started healthy habits since I started going to the group but continued PMOing: I take a cold shower every morning, meditate, do some yoga, going to the gym, writing (I wanna "become a writer"), and I take a hot shower in the nights. All of this before being serious about porn addiction recovery. So, it was very nice to discover I'm doing something good.
I often think I'm a loser because of this and my self-esteem has been in the ground since this started. I'm very aware this addiction started as a way to escape from reality as a young teenager: my home is a very dysfunctional environment. I remember feeling bad almost all my childhood and puberty, and this addiction became a way to stop feeling bad for a moment.
I wanna share a weird (again) thought I've had since I started this challenge: you don't need to take anything to recovery and to have superpowers, your body will do it for you, you just need to take care of it.
I'm at work so I can't make a full inventory of my life right now. I got motivated to post from another post I just read. And it's true: helping someone to improve is a very good way to help oneself to improve.
I've been clean for 10 days and I hope to make it 2 weeks, then 1 month, 2 months and finally the famous 90 days challenge. Although I think I'm gonna need more time to fully recovery.
I think I won't get laid in this 90 days (I just broke up a very difficult two years and a half relationship) so I'm in Hard-Mode. Nevertheless, if I can get to coitus I'll do it, and I'll try to be very aware of the chasing effect.
I hope to say this in my 12 steps group today.
Thank you very much to everyone for reading this, and I hope you get better. One day at a time.
Cheers!

 

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