Soon to be 24

If you were in those trenches you would pray for food and a clean bed.

 

The awareness of failure is the desire for something better. Some people fail and can´t even see it, no possibility for growth.

You have eyes, start from there. Your life is your responsability. Choose your sacrifices or life will choose it for you.

 

I’m 25 and I had to move back in. Unless you want to be like me, dig in your heels, man.

 

Don't give up! I am just turning 30, have had 2 relationships crumble due to my physical, mental, and emotional immaturity that I enabled by using PMO. I am just starting to get my feet under me and working on an associates degree. This comparison could be apples to oranges, but it might not. You have more than you realize and if you can find gratitude for what you've been given, then you can also find the strength to build with it.

You are in a boat of feelings of inadequacy and incompetence, but you are also in it with many other men. You and I are of the many that are striving to overcome the damage of our own ignorance or even knowingly chosen failures. The way up for us all isn't to wallow, but to accept the reality and the challenges it brings and then work to learn what we can do. I'll be rooting for you. Take heart that you are capable of living a fulfilled life even when you feel the weight of the moment will cause you to crumble.

 

I'm not going to be a victim out for sympathy votes but I can almost assure you that I'm in a significantly worse situation. I'm 10+ years older than you and sharing many of your struggles and then some. If you carry on and get to where I am, it'll be that much more difficult for you to forgive yourself for what you've made of your life and to be able to move on. Being on NoFap past 18-20 is bad enough so try not to let things keep getting worse.

 

Well, in my experience those two go hand in hand.

And its no surprice, that having a sexual addiction and low mental health makes mantaining a successfull relationship difficult.

Another common thing people with addiction experience.

By definition, addicts have a discrepancy between their true will and their acts.

I get you. This situation seems quite bad. And of course I dont know you personally or what your exact problems are. But since you are posting this on a porn addiction forum I will give following obvious answer: Your porn addiction makes everything even worse. Dont make the mistake of thinking you are already at the bottom, addiction can drag one way deeper than one ever would imagine. Trust me. You are just 24

The thing with addiction is, there is no way around than getting free of it. But the good news, there is also a big promise behind that. Everything you wish for is not attainable as a full blown addict. So if you can manage your addiction, you may be surprised how many other things will start to work out in your life. I wish you the best. I wont give you any specific tipps, other than trying new things if your old way of trying did not work.

Im praying for you this evening. Even if you dont believe in the power of prayer anymore, some random guy on the other side on the internet is. Prayers work. But they are not a magic spell to make your problems disapear. They are a direct line to your creator and savior. Its not the words that will do it, but having a relationship with god is the key.

 

Does God speak to you ?

 

Im obviously not hearing voices in my head if thats what you are concerned about. But I dont want to sound too sarcastic. I assume this is a question with genuine interest, so I will answer it in all seriousness: Im a religious person. Therefore I see real meaning in my personal life and in the life of others. Praying is not just naming some words, but a heart attitude towards God, who by definition is the source of all good. And as many other religious persons will contest, I can definitely see the effects of gods work in the world and in my life. Im thankfull for that and Im giving praise. In some way you could label this more or less as some form communication. Thats what I meant with the direct line to the creator. Its not meant literally. I hope I made this plausible. I also want to mention, that praying is a very personal experience that will vary from person to person, this is just my view.

 

The answer is " no ". Just say " no " .

 

My friend, this is heartbreaking to read. These somewhat suicidal thoughts you are experiencing are not a true reflection of your desires. You don't want to die. You want to shed the current version of yourself that is filled with pain and suffering. That realization, that desire for change, is commendable. It shows that you have the insight to recognize that your current situation is not where you belong and that you deserve better. All the best brother.

 

As someone who tried to kill themselves at age 19, I can tell you there is always room to turn shit around. I was garbage: addicted to porn, treated people like shit, focused on only myself in past relationships, getting black out drunk most of the week, failing college. After a couple years I turned everything around. I was the one who decided to own up to my mistakes and improve my life. Create discipline and focus on habits that help yourself and others. Currently I am a year away from graduating with my associates (looking at a bachelors program), saved up cash, a great support system of friends, a body my younger self would be jealous of because of bodybuilding. I am telling you this because if I survived a suicide attempt and picked my ass up, I believe you can do the same. Instead of feeling hopelessness, create actions that will make you proud months and years down the road when you look back. I look back on my shit and am very proud of myself, I want you to do the same. You got this.

 

I feel this pain. And pain isn’t very good at listening to anything other than pain. But what I’ve found is that victimization and identifying with your problems will make the problems even worse. Distance from your thoughts, focus on the action. Distance from the feelings, focus on the step in front of you. Average lifespan is around 70-80 and can go higher or lower. 24 is fairly young which means the potential of the life you have lived can happen again twice. It’s up to you every day to make it the best next 24 years or the worst. I say this because this is what I have to tell myself everyday. At 22, I often feel I’ve done nothing. But if I change my perspective and accept where I’m at in my life, it looks different. I have time. I have work to do. Am I fucked up? Yeah. But can I do something about it? Yes indeed.