Some things I want to share

Looking and thinking is not touching.

 

Women think about other guys too. It's perfectly normal.

 

I think what you describe is a normal instinct. When you are in a committed relationship you don't suddenly become blind to all others. With pmo addicts though the ogling often becomes an extension of the addiction acting as a porn sub. My partner was never an ogler until he cut out pmo. Then he was blantly gawking at every woman he saw. It was his addiction looking for some way to replace the porn. Only you can truly know what category you fall into. I suspect it may be making you feel like you are going to relapse so you should try your best to avoid it. Some guys have the make a conscious decision not to do it and that's what I recommend. You know the concept or mindless eating? Where people on diets are encouraging to focus on eating when they are and when they get "hunger " pains to ask themselves am I really hungry or am I tired or bored etc. I suggest you try they approach. It's good you recognize you are doing it. Many men have no clue they are and it's a hurt SO that has to convince them.

 

Trust yourself on this one. It isn't right. Our brains are such a frightful mess when we're in the midst of our pornography addiction, we act like animals. I'm at day 43 and the clouds are just starting to part. You need to persevere with a longer streak before you really start seeing the benefits.

Check out the other thread about ogling in this part of the forum. It inspired me to take a much more conscious approach to looking at other women (I'm married). With my newfound self control I've been successfully avoiding looking, even at places like the gym. We can escape our thoughts through discipline and refocusing our lives.

Maybe some women don't care if you look at them - but many do and it's unpleasant for them. Also, your SO may be more aware of it than you realize, and it might be hurting her. I now consider this a part of my quitting PMO journey.

 

Like I said feeling and not acting on the urge is rough but I caused my own misery. Part of the price I pay.

 

As I've posted numerous times I need to experience the misery for this to work. This misery is part of the lesson. I know I'm probably in the minority. A true cleanse should be bring you to your hands and knees once. Maybe it's the catholic school in me.

 

It is was possible I'd spend these 90 days in a monastery on a water and soup menu. No TV, Internet, you name it. Just not practical.

 

I am a Catholic school alum as well I feel you on the guilt! But all kidding aside I think with any addiction you do have to experience the pain and mystery. Just know that what you feel now is a drop in the bucket of what pain your addiction will cause you in the long run. Anything that's worth it never comes easy.

 

chaser is a killer. write down on paper everything you love about your girlfriend. memories, habits, they way she does things when your together etc. so you mind is reminded about her till you return. or even write a letter/ email to her telling her this.