Social media and dating sites, an injustice for men and beneficial for women?

You always may search in real life, a lot of weman are not using dating sites. What the problem?

 

If speak about social media, you always have a lower chanse to meet someone there, just because girls often not reading messages from people they don't know, because a lot of people sending dickpics and stuff and not really serious. Again, you can't show your charisma and how you perform on the internet, only in real life. So, I believe, to meet nice girl in real life still easier, then on the internet. Of'course if you care about yourself.

 

It may be that social media is actually using them. Even if someone is a popular online figure there's a good chance it's superficial, if anyone cares.

 

I kinda agree with you, but it’s “would’ve” not “would of”

 

"Girls have always been told that their value is tied to their appearance; their accomplishments are always magnified if they're pretty and diminished if they're not. Even worse, some girls get the message that they can get through life relying on just their looks, and then they never develop their minds. [...]

Being pretty is fundamentally a passive quality; even when you work at it, you're working at being passive."
Ted Chiang, Stories of Your Life and Others

 

When i look at the facebook, instagram, etc, i feel like some people are pretending to be something they are not. They try to look busy and happy all the time. It's fake, like much of the things of our time.
Fake body, fake personality, fake news, fake mind. What's going on?

Indeed, social media empowered womans. But i don't thing its bad, they must have it because males have
been a dick for too long time. They must reclaim their power.

But...

People are starting to be...more like...plastic.

 

I remember reading about a study on online dating and how it effects men and women differently. This was some years ago, so I'm not sure where to find it now.
One thing that stood out to me was one of the questions asked. One part of this study was just to ask men and women the same questions about online dating and comparing the answers given from both sexes.
One question was; what's your biggest fear about onoke dating?
The majority of men answered with: that the women I meet wont look like her pictures and she'll actually be fat, or ugly.
The majority of women answered with: that the guy I meet will sexually assault or murder me.

I'm not doubting that many women do get an online ego boost from social media, and it certainly does more harm than good.

Online dating though is actually pretty frightening to women and generally kinda dangerous.

I think online dating as a whole is pretty toxic. Feels like shopping for people in a way.

 

But for some people there are no other options, than online dating exist.

 

Theres clearly a market for it. As someone who suffers social anxiety I can totally get why it's beneficial to be able to meet people online. Looking at it from a purely logical view, I understand why it exists. In fact, it even makes sense.
Personally though, it just seems like shopping for people. I don't even like finding a new dog online, by surfing through a kennels dog listings. I'd rather go and meet them in person. It just seems so very impersonal to me.
Theres also the fact that it is a predator playground. Both for Male and female offenders. It just makes it easy to find a victim.

 

By the way: https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/pre...nline-dating-service-matchcom-using-fake-love

 

It's a big problem for women, too.

Attention from social media is empty and addictive. It's like turning to porn for emotional intimacy. Women who get wrapped up in becoming desperate for likes are in a really bad place that is only going to keep going downhill. It's not good for their mental health at all. It's fake affection, and it can severely damage a woman's psyche, and contrary to what you think, it actually makes them MORE insecure in the long run, not less.

It's nothing to be jealous about, or to act like women have it better because of social media. That isn't better. It's dangerous and unhealthy. You're just only looking at the good side. There's a bad side too, and it's not worth a few likes for a sense of momentary, fleeting acceptance.

 

I don't really like terms like this, but to use your own terminology, why don't you just "punch below your weight" then? It seems like you wish women would accept less attractive men, because you want a more attractive woman. But what about the less attractive women? Why don't the less attractive men just go after one of those?

I hate using that kind of language in regards to finding a partner in life, but the point is, I personally see attractive women with less attractive men far more than I see the opposite. And I very often see men complaining that all the attractive women will never go after someone as unattractive as them. But then I would ask, why are you so focused on the super attractive women? You're kind of doing the same thing you're critizing them for. You want them to lower their standards, so you can still have high standsrds and the super hot women will pick you. That's kind of a double standard, no? Why don't you ignore what those hot women are doing, lower your own standards, and find a woman less attractive than you.

And if you don't want to do that, that's fine. But you can't expect women to want to do that either, if you don't even want to follow your own message. That's kind of hypocritical.

 

Thanks for sharing these quotes. This is sad, not something to be jealous of.

 

I was thinking about this the other day. Someone remembers the Gamer Girl Bath Water fad? The [INSTAGRAM MODEL] who did that lives off of her looks, but she won't be able to do that forever, as looks always go down eventually. And it won't be just like "I need a job now", new [INSTAGRAM MODELS] will appear and eventually be more popular, so she will have to see how people starts forgetting about her because she will not be pretty enough for attention.

On the other hand, as a man, it would be nice if women complimented how I look. The last time I got one was from a bunch of dudes. It was terrifying.

 

Yes, it's difficult to appreciate when you are young(ish), but attractive women and (very) attractive men experience ageing as a really terrible thing. They don't appreciate how much of their worth is attached to their looks. People stop doing them favours, people stop contacting them and hanging around them. The job offers stop. They are anonymous and invisible everywhere they go.

People who are average or below average looks wise (especially men) only experience the positive effects of ageing. At least until your health starts to fail!

 

This is reminding me of this insight Douglas Rushkoff had for one of his books while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. He realized the reason they were all having arguments is because they had so much plastic surgery that it looks like they were permanently smiling, so when one says something like "my kid just got diagnosed with cancer" and the other says "I'm so sorry" it looks like she's saying it with a smile, which makes the other resentful because how saying that with the perma-smile presented as insincere.

The thing with a recorded image or video is it's static and doesn't change, but life does whether it's the short time frame of a conversation or over ones lifetime and inevitable aging process. Presumably even people who are not that serious about a relationship wants it to last at least a while, but the bias of the media is toward instant gratification and not the more complex and nuanced human business of relating through all the changes in life.