I'm a 23 y/o guy. I've been following this forum for some months now, but I never posted before. I will tell you my story because I need some advice and I need to spit it out: I have been watching and masturbating to porn since I was 13 years old. At this time I could masturbate once a day everyday. Later on, I started masturbating with less frequency but maybe 2, 3 or 4 times in a day. I thought it was awesome and I really enjoyed it. When I was 17 years old, I got my first "serious" girlfriend of my same age. I was very excited because I was going to lose my virginity to her (and she also) so I thought it would be good. After one month or so, we were going to have sex and it happened something weird. When she got naked I was fully hard and I couldn't wait to have sex, but when she reached the condom, my penis lost the erection and it did not get hard anymore that day. That girl tried everything to get it up but it just got 50% hard, not being able to penetrate. I was very sad and ashamed and we both thought it could have been the first time anxiety. However, over the next days, weeks, months the story repeated again and again. Eventually, for this and other issues, we end up breaking up. This girl was always sympathetic and never a bad word about it. After this, when I started college, I was kind of afraid to have sex and when I would make out with some girl at a party or something, I always invented an excuse for not going further. I am a pretty decent looking guy and I'm very sociable, so I could get to approach and be approached by girls easily; although, for me it was not so enjoyable because I did not want to make out for saying goodbye to the girls right after that, not even being able to think of having a relationship because that would imply having sex. During my years of college, I never tried to have sex with any girl, altough I kissed many and kept in touch with them for a short while. Also, I have to say that during all this time, I would masturbate to porn and not to porn like 4 times a week, specially with porn I felt that my erections were very hard. When I finished college, I moved to a very nice European city, where I lived in an apartment on my own. I proposed to myself meeting new girls and finally try to have sex again. So that year, I went to a party every weekend and met a lot of girls. I took around 15 different girls to my bed, some of them the first night I met them, other of them after dating them a couple of times. However, the story that happened with my ex girlfriend repeated again with all of them except with one. I could be hard until the moment at which I was going to penetrate. I started thinking that somebody gave me a curse or something. I tried to make these girls up with oral sex but I felt bad with myself because I thought it was not enough. During this set of failures, I surfed the internet trying to find out what the fuck was wrong with me. And I found this nofap thing and YBOP. I avoided porn and masturbation for 10 days and the next day I met a new girl, but I was doubtful because I knew this thing was not gonna work in such short period of time. However, I ended up in the bed with that girl. At the beginning my penis was hard but when I took the condom, it stoped working again. After a while trying, we decided to go to sleep, but surprisingly after 5 min of trying to sleep, I felt like my penis was hard enough. But I did not say anything because I knew that if I tried to put the condom on, I would lose the erection again. 10 minutes after, the erection was still there, hard enough. So I said to the girl if she wanted to go without condom, and she said yes. So that was the very first time (and last, because this event was very recently) I could actually penetrate a girl. On the other hand, I did not like the sex because my dick was not rock-hard but at least I was able to have sex for a while. And since I was not using a condom I could not do it longer, because I was afraid I could jeek off at any moment. From that moment I haven't watched porn nor masturbate. Two days ago, I met this girl again and I couldn't put the condom nor have sex without the condom again. But I think this NoFap thing might work if I wait longer. As of today, I've been 24 days without PM, and I hope I can reach 100 days and to recover from my PIED that has ruined my life in so many aspects, making me feel down and insecure during what could have been the best year of my life. I hope you guys can give me any kind of advice or motivation message to keep up with my first streak. And sorry for my English & for the long text but I needed to spit out the full story... P.S.: I also want to try taking L-Arginine, which I've heard it's a nutritional supplement that may improve blood flow and consequently erection quality. I would like you to tell me your experience with it, dosage, for how long I should intake it, etc.
Hey my friend! You sound like youre doing alright for yourself, 24 days can seem like forever. Stay strong
Also I don't know much about supplements, I'd just Google it or ask a doctor/urologist for a more professional approach
Also I don't know much about supplements, I'd just Google it or ask a doctor/urologist for a more professional approach
When I do steroid cycles, it mess with my testosterone levels, so when I want to get my natural testosterone levels back, I use clomiphene. You should give it a try at least for one week
Hey man, I would guess that because of the first bad experiences with condoms you associated failure to them. Now putting one one is a synonym for a bad experience and your body reacts accordingly. This is not that easy to reverse because just like porn this behaviour is engraved in your head, but it doesn't mean its impossible at all. You'll have to take small steps to improve. My suggestions: First of all condoms don't physically make you lose an erection, the point of them is to have good sex with them, so start getting your head around that. Get used to the idea of enjoying sex with condoms. Sooner or later, you'll get there. I would start practicing putting condoms on at home, somewhere you feel safe. Practice masturbating with them. Touch yourself in the shower and when you get a turn on just put one on, have an orgasm inside one. I think that once you get used to using them, you won't be able to associate them to losing an erection. Look for a good meditation program that helps you deal with anxiety, observe your thoughts and learn to gain some distance from them. Remember your objective is to have a good and fun time with these girls. Maybe you're so focused on "I have to put the condom on" that you loose focus of the actual thing you were there to do. Sex is about the feeling of connection not solely about penetration. Trust that this issue will get solved sooner or later. It's not that by day 30 something you should be having sex again and by day 40 you're in a relationship. These issues are very individual and time periods will stretch or contract. Relax about it, but start working on a solution. Good luck man! I recommend the anxiety pack of headspace, if you can pay for it make sure you give it a try. Start with the basics though.
