It's been two years since my last post here... Still on porn even when together with a partner. I'm 25 years old and been watching porn since I was about 12. I've watched a lot porn. Different porn. Porn that disgusts me every time I finish. I've tried quitting countless of times, I started noticing addictive behaviors in me about 4 years ago. I started smoking and drinking coffee before I was 12. I've been off cigarettes for almost a year now and greatly limiting the amount of coffee I drink. Simple pleasures. I never thought I could quit smoking, but I did. For now at least and hopefully forever. I'm ready to commit to this. The thing is that sex with my partner is great, we have good sex. But I still watch porn and masturbate every chance I get. When he comes home from work, wanting to have sex, I don't want it. I'm not in the mood and find the whole thing tedious. I've used "not in the mood," "I'm tired" "I'll make it up to you" a lot.This is starting to hurt my relationship and I really wanna fix that. I've told my partner about my addiction, promising to stop and I'm still doing it. The longest I've been without porn is maybe about 4 weeks at time. Always going back, making excuses like: * You deserve it, you've been off for a long time. * Once a week. * No porn, just masturbate. * A healthy balance Why the heck is it so hard to quit than smoking? Any tips to a hopeless man? Aleks
I just started the epic struggle against fapping and I feel your pain. I would suggest that you take special notice of your triggers and just help yourself gain an all-around-awareness. That way when you will know what situations bring the urges on etc., and you will be able to stop and consciously think about what situations to avoid or if you can't avoid it then have a plan. For instance, if you feel the urges coming on you could make yourself write out all of the pros and cons of not fapping to remind yourself of why you're abstaining in the first place. An example of a trigger for me is that if I'm bored I feel the urges getting stronger, and I think about certain websites that have such novel content on them, which makes them so hard to avoid. So, in short, pay close attention to your triggers and sit down and write out a plan of action so that you're not taken by surprise when you feel like relapsing. And I also need to learn myself better in order to defeat this thing, so you're not alone in this struggle. Keep fighting.
I can so relate with the boredom part. It's the worst. I try to channel my boredom into working out, but at the end of a session I reward myself with porn or I don't work out at all because I watched porn. What's your plan on this? Just go cold turkey? Any strategy? I keep myself occupied with chores. I'm very restless so crossing things off a list gives me joy. Cleaing the house, organizing files on my computer, workout with multiple sets, etc. I love that. I'm trying to fight the urges every day and I feel like giving in any minute. Thanks for your reply.
Quitting any addiction is hard, let alone multiple addictions at a time. Just remember that you are trying to change your bad habits into good ones, you are ultimately trying to change your life so that PMO is no longer a fit. Changing your life takes time, kicking an addiction takes time. I would say the quickest way to get out of the cycle of addiction is to learn everything you can about each relapse, so you know what to change for next time. You need to have a plan ready for those times when you don't feel that great, or stress is high so that you don't just fall back in the same habit. Again this process takes time and frustration is a normal part of the process.
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