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So, here is my history.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Adreison, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. Adreison

    Adreison New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone. So I finally decided to share my history with you guys.
    It's kind of a way to commit even more to this "jorney" and to get to know different opnions about my problem and about the topic in general.
    I apologize in advance for any grammar error as english is not my native language.

    Well, I´m 21 years old, normal-decent looking I guess. I try to have a healthy life style by running, swimming and lifting weights whenever I have free time.

    I have just the normal student life of going out, partying whenever I don't have to study, and staying locked up inside for some weeks in exams period.
    I have been masturbating with porn almost everyday since I was around 13. Never saw it as a problem like most of the guys. Just saw as something natural and actually some "doctors" said that it was healthy.

    Ok,so...
    I'd say I don't have any problems in socializing. Actually I go to a lot of parties, meet a lot of people... lot of girls as well. And I often find myself making out with them. That's when the problem of ED starts....

    Well. Since I began paying attention to all this "masturbation related problems" I started to go back in time and I noticed that 3, maybe 4 times I was with a girl, about to have sex with her for the First Time and well...It just wouldn´t "rise". The first 2 times(each time with a different girl) I didn´t really care...I blamed on nerves and performance anxiety.

    As I go out a lot and often people see me making out with a lot of girls, they kind of think that I am this "Sex Beast"(which im not).So I guess the anxiety of having to "maintain" this status of beeing "good in bed" made me have performance anxiety. That´s what I thought.

    So like I was saying I blamed on performance anxiety these first 2 times. Then I cared even less when in the next opportunity, I met this girl, and she was really interesting and cute and everything just went so smooth. We made out in this party, went out to eat something, went to my place and had great sex...Just how it´s "suposed" to be. We both had a great time!!

    Ok... So time went by and me and this girl got kind of together.She was really nice,I was enjoying beein with her and was actually thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend :) We were having great sex almost everyday, sometimes more than 2,3 times a day. So life was kind of "perfect".
    Well, couple of mounths passed and things with this girl didn't go as planned and we "broke up".

    Well...Time passed and I met different girls... In the next two opportunities to have sex It Happened again. And in this second one it really bothered me cause I had been over this "image" thing and the girl was the sexiest girl I had ever been with. So I got really frustrated.

    Well, I started doing research and went from taking supplements that would in theory increase your libido to doing Kegel Exercises... Nothing worked... I was still failing to get it up and things were becoming worse and worse and as you start to think about last time you failed and get even more ancious...A disaster.

    That´s when stumbled across this article about Porn Viewing. Suddenly everything made sense!!!
    My mind got used to the heavy porn and to the "unrealistic" women and wasn´t becoming horny with "normal" women anymore.
    So that was it... I read that with more or less 3 mounths of nonporn your brain would be reseted and everything would be back to normal.

    And that was what I did. Spent 3 mounths avoiding sex and watching no porn...But.....I was still masturbating everyday. Not to porn but everyday.

    And here comes the part that I think it´s where My problem lies on. I wasn´t masturbating because I was super horny...It was more like "Mehhh, I´m not doing anything...yeah...I´m going to masturbate."
    So I´d start stimulating me physically till I got an erection as I didn´t have the visual stimulation from porn.

    Ok. So the 3 mounths passed and I said to myself: Ok, Here I go!! And started hitting on girls again. The next sex-opportunity I had I definitelly felt "hornier" than I used to dobut still failed. I was really nervous cause of all the previous failures but still... That's not what the articule promised me.

    Frustrated again I did more research and FINALLY stumbled across NOFAP. And that light just Lit up again.Everything made sense one more time.

    By masturbating and specially in the way that I was doing (psysically stimulating myself till I got an erection and not by beeing actually mentaly horny),I broke natural cicle : Mental/Visual attraction->Erection->Orgasm. Also my body was used to my touch and also Satisfied with it so It didn't need to do any extra effort to "function" when I was about to do the real deal as it was reaching orgasm in a much more easier way.

    Well at least That´s how I understood my problem. I´d like to hear you guys opnions. Do you think I finally found my problem?
    I am now 10 days off masturbation.It has been pretty hard specially cause I'm on Finals now. But i´m holding on :p

    PS: Sorry to have made the text so long. I was just trying to explain each detail so maybe someone could relate to the same problem.

    Take care you guys.:)
     
  2. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    How well do you know these women you are trying to have sex with? I think you had no trouble getting it up for your ex-girlfriend because you had a real connection with her.

    Porn makes it seem normal to have sex with someone you just met and don't care about. IRL, most people don't do that.

    Maybe if you slow down, and focus on building a relationship first, that will help.
     
  3. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome @Adreison, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad to see you've gained some valuable insight. You've learned how often boredom can get us into trouble.

    I hope you keep coming back.
     

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