So Frustrating.....

This is mainly me venting and getting my feelings out, but people may comment if they wish. I'm going on a year and a half of NoFap. Sometimes it feels like I've made a ton of progress, sometimes it feels like I've made none at all. It's been since October of 22 that I last watched porn. The longest streak I have gone on without an Orgasm is 72 days. I have only Masturbated ONCE this year the 2bd day of January. Every other orgasm has been during sex with my Fiance'. My last O was 3 weeks and 2 days ago. After that I felt great, I was having erections all the time and had a great libido. It was like the OPPOSITE of a flatline. Then suddenly without warning there was Mr. Flatline. I got soft during sex one time, then the other day the second I put a condom on I went soft. I feel depressed and I have those headaches often that feels like the front of your brain is frozen and there's throbbing and shortness of breath. No energy or motivation either no matter hw much I sleep. But one way I look at it is my Porn addiction was close to 20 years and I pretty much had a masturbating addiction since I was 13. I turned 40 in December. I suppose after that many years of saturating my brain in dopamine and then just cutting it off has to be a shock to the brain and system overall. It may take a LONG time for me to completely recover. I wish this kind of recovery was a like a cut. You put a band-aid on it and the more time that goes by the more you heal. with mental problems however you can be better one day and bad the next 3. 1 step forward and 3 steps back.