So far, so good.

Midnight 1-29-2024 marked 9 weeks since the last time I consumed pornography (9 weeks clean, as I have come to put it). Some people may think that this is small, and yes, I have kinda hinted at it. I never really came out with it out of shame. It's a habit I've had since I was 13. Never as bad as being glued to the screen for 8 hours at a time, but enough to cause effects that I'm not proud of. Anxiety, social awkwardness, s*xual dysfunction, and an extremely warped view of other people. More than anything, I used it as an anesthetic to hide away from my issues the same way others use sex, manipulation, and substances to the same effect. In turn, there were consequences: damaged relationships, usurped motivation, missed opportunities of all sorts (shame and anxiety WILL keep you from being great), objectification of others, and a decimated sense of self-worth. I've dealt with all of that in the years of use. I've made attempts over the past 2.5 years, but, I believe that I have the correct reasons why to make this recovery a permanent change.

One of those doesn't even involve me: the porn industry actually creates demand for industries and acts that brutalize bodies and minds of those who were either too weak to avoid its grasp or far too susceptible to making a deal with the devil in exchange for fleeting gains. The industry creates demand for trafficking, child exploitation, and numerous other abuses that can't be explicitly discussed on these platforms. Yet, every day, we are told that this poison pill is harmless, even beneficial. My own experience says otherwise.

So yeah, 63 days as a recovering porn addict. Over 80 percent of men and 55 percent of women participate; which might explain a lot of what goes on in the world. That said, mass adoption does not make it moral or beneficial. It just makes it popular. If you read this far, thank you.