Side effects of porn got worse since I tried to stop

Yes, this is the result of "kindling" - when you go back to addiction after spells of abstinence.

I have experienced the same and have suffered all kinds of crazy symptoms, it only gets worse if you go back again.

 

I had this thought recently myself. Part of what's going on with me is that I've neglected myself to such an extent that there are things that come up now that make me say to myself, "this is caused by XYZ which was almost certainly caused by p/m/o." I may be one of these lunatics people sometimes mock for thinking the worst of porn and masturbation but I'm that way for a reason. I'm a bit younger than you but my experience is probably not much different.

To your point, I too notice a worsening of my symptoms in terms of severity and frequency after relapses (especially binges).

 

Hey man, we have pretty similar stories. I also started at that age to loose control, the video of Sir Wilson inspired me and I get the same kind of symptoms when I'm about to watch pornography. I'm also on my first very long streak that has been pure i.e. nothing sexual at all, not even swimsuit models.

How are you feeling compared to before you quit?

 

I got a pretty similar experience, not to porn but irl. while walking around outside I saw that woman wearing super hot leggings with a perfect bubble butt in it and she was just squatting reaching for something in a store and I couldn't help myself walking back where she was just to have another look at her, it felt like I have no choice, and while doing so my heart almost jumped out of my chest pumping intensely and I could feel how I am starting to shake. before I didn't have a problem approaching woman or getting close to them just to have a look, but this time felt very different and I am still wondering if this was a good or a bad sign regarding recovery. I guess this happened somewhat around day 80 and I am at 115 no PM today. can anyone relate?

 

Great to hear that you are doing well. I hope this stumbeling you describe isn't intentional .

Well tough to say for me at the moment. I don't feel to great. But I'm in a very difficult time of my life. I'm writing my master thesis and I will switch my job very soon. I'm not progressing very well though and I tend to procrastinate when I feel overloaded. That's kind of the state I'm in right now.

I commited myself very strongly to be abstinent for at least 100 days. I will think about it again once I'm there. I miss having sex with a beauty.

 

wonderful thread!
40 years of sex addiction for me, I am 52 now; I've been having some serious health issues which sparked my latest reboot, but I also confirm everything that's been posted here, this is a serious addiction folks, and not discussed enough in the public square, porn is ruining lives; I am being drawn to the path of the Buddha and that is my journey, however, there are many recovery options...explore them all diligently, peace to you all my brothers

 

Hello there,

I faced the same thing you explained.. At first, after each relapse I used to feel it is harder to stop. Then I feel more fatigue, then I hit the rock bottom.

This could be kindling - which is the more severe withdrawal the more we relapse - but in my experience I conclude that this occures if you binge. A bingle means relapsing more than once in a close period of times (it could be days or weeks if you are already exhausted). So do your best not to relapse and if you did.. Don't binge.. Because this will risk getting into PAWS phase or nuerusthenia.

Edging is another big issue:
When edging, at times, I used to get panic attack when I edge, when suddenly the heart starts beating hard, then it got worse to feeling muscle tightness and like fainting (while persistent edging). Nowadays I even suffer from online chat in some scenarios. Edging plays a big role in Fire together, Wire together philosophy as well. Means when you edge for checking some pics or some porn substitute content on social media could wire using social media (that app to be triggering) even if you want to use it for a random purpose.

Edging is simply like vape that burns coil for hours. It will not give the symptoms quickly, but they will come and in many different confusing ways. I think what Garden mentioned could also be related due to edging. It is really harmful.

Now while you are on a rebooting streak you may get more sensitive to stimuli in the first couple of months. A simple edge(sometimes even typing a triggering word in search) will feel like palpitations and shivering. That is normal in rebooting, I think because the Dopamine hormone is desparate for an arousal, but as you keep going it will go back to normal, and your hardwired porn pathways will get weaker by time. so you will not feel such symptoms, until you start edging again, which will wake them up again and hardwire them worse than before. That is why edging is bad.

Keeo going on the track and have a healthy lifestyle, when you feel good start a real relationship and don't go back to porn and unrealistic arousal.

If you find difficulty controling your rebooting streak I recommend reading books about Nofap which will help strengthening your discipline and build a foundation in the subconscious which is brainwashed with porn materials for years. This is the best way to stay on a long and stable reboot.


All the best.

 

@garden stay on the track, avoid sexual fantasizing and edging.. Give yourself a break from sexual stimuli and hopefully things will improve. It is also important to do your best to avoid staring.. That will help you, and this is our nature as humans.

 

mags then video...

 

I don't want to extend this thread but I am going to disagree with you on this. I think that staring irl is the only way we are designed to get and stay aroused. I see this as some kind of reward mechanism and learned this while starting to take daily walks instead of sitting in front of my pc all day. while walking outside you have to move your body and by doing so you see some real beautiful woman (not necessarily in a sexy way but just beautiful). this is a healthy way of getting aroused and is a kind of self-accelerating loop because you are rewarded with good feelings/motivation by seeing this wonderful bodies and smiles. while sitting in front of a computer watching pixels requires zero effort, going outside into the real world offers healthy movements and sunlight and fresh air.

 

All women are beautiful. Staring at their body could trigger emotions, emotions push us into seeking, urges and then probably fantasies.

Staring at women could become a habit that feels difficult to control.

Look at them as mates, friends, family, humans. But for example if you are at the gym and there was a woman wearing leggings and seamless hot clothing, this naturally will arouse men. No man can deny that. There is a difference between beautiful and hot.

Also If you are in a relationship your partner won't like it if she knows that you stare at other women - because they are beautiful, and we get into relationships for a reason.

Yes, in terms of PMO, seeing beautiful women in real life creates motivation to stay away from pixels, but this is risky for rebooting.

 

I agree with both of you, cuz first as @garden explained, its pretty comfy and safe to look at a woman's any kind of pic in pc or phone and dare not to ask or see her irl. We can even find similar woman's body on web and fantasize her as the woman we see irl.
This '' getting comfy'' acts the first cue to get stuck in digital fantasy world..
Now as @Mr.Chips explained, when are rebooting we are in the middle of both real and digital but still in fantasy world... We feel sometimes fully in control of how we see a woman in tight leggings, a woman in our everyday life who seems beautiful and hot both, we control how we see... But, there are times when we cant control during this rebooting phase and we keep staring at a woman irl (if she knows or not) in the middle of choice battlefield. We internally know we cant search her like we used to in web but we can fantasize her as we r looking at her.. This is what I call a pervert phase.. Lol not to label but just a phase during rebooting... The only way out of this is to limit yourself looking at her and create a healthy view on her.
For example: If a girl I see as a fantasy object, I quickly change to say well thats her fashion style, And I imagine her going through my recovery stages ....hahhahaha..
This works for me to at least to have the confidence to talk and act nicely rather than ignoring and self rationalizing and acting as a pervert...

 

And this is what I don't get. In my heavy fapping days, I was feeling better than quitting. The symptoms became unbearable to live with....