Should I give up?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Reborn_, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    I can't do this anymore. I've been trying to quit for 2 years and nothing has worked.
    The only thing NoFap is giving me right now is extra regret when I relapse.
    I want to reach my full potential, and I can't do that with porn, but I relapse and relapse and relapse.
    I have tried every strategy, every suggestion I've ever read on this site, and I still can't beat this addiction.
    I'm usually a pretty positive guy, which causes me to "pick myself up" quickly after relapses. But honestly, what is the point? It all only leads to more relapses.
    NoFap constantly puts me in a bad mood, but I can't quit, because that would mean going back to pmo, which also puts me in a bad mood.
    Lots of users join this website, and 90 days later, they have their success story. Idk why I haven't been able to quit for two years.
    The ONLY positive way out for me is to quit, and I simply do not have the power to do so.
     
    LonelyStrength and DRKK like this.
  2. DRKK

    DRKK Fapstronaut

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    If feel exactly the same. NoFap isn’t giving me any benefits, only making my depression worse. And when I relapse I’ve never been so disappointed in my self. But I’ve been on this site for nearly a year. And keep on relapsing and can never get a good streak. Longest was 23 and second longest is 14. The rest are like 2-5 days. This is my last time trying and I’m done
     
    LonelyStrength and Reborn_ like this.
  3. MrBrive

    MrBrive Fapstronaut

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    You have to be so sure of yourself that you can't stop. Otherwise you will relapse.
    To me it seems like you are doing nofap just because you know you should, but you haven't asked yourself What is it exactly what I want? What dont I want?

    I don't know what your biggest streak is, but aim to reach your record. When your reach that, aim for 1 week longer. 2weeks longer. 3 weeks. Etc. Every day after your new record will be your new record. It just helps during urges if you know that this try is THE ONE. You can't stop. Truly believe it. Only when you know where you are going, and know how to go there, you will get there.

    You can do it. I wish you all succes and Goodluck.

    -Mrbrive
     
    Sileon, BigOne79, ManHvnBnd and 2 others like this.
  4. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

    Ask yourself, what is important. You being a piece of shit that stays in your grandma's basement playing games all day OR a guy who is confident, productive and get shit done!!
     
    BigOne79, ManHvnBnd and Curry like this.
  5. MadJackMcMad

    MadJackMcMad Fapstronaut

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    I understand, I have been trying to quit for about 10 years. Before finding out about nofap, it was for religious reasons, and every relapse made me feel like shit as you say. But you (and I, and everyone) deserve better than porn, and I believe we can achieve freedom by staying committed.

    And you're right, this is no piece of cake, it's a really tough to break addiction. We have to try our hardest to stay clean.
    So, try to understand what went wrong the other times (what triggered you? What could have you done to avoid falling into porn? Are you exercising? Or are you spending too much time with your PC?) and start again with a better approach!
     
    Surprise likes this.
  6. maps

    maps Fapstronaut

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    You are going too ham in your goals. If you want better results over time in the long run , in my opinion, you should start by abstaining only from porn first. continue masturbating , release your sexual tension with that . Porn removal subsequently dismisses over time most of your problems: Anxieties, low self-confidence, escalation fetishes, brain fog, and porn induced sexual disfunctions such as erectile disfunction, delayed ejaculation , etc. use your imagination, fantasize about things you like, that make you aroused . but *dont* involve porn in any part of your life. By the time you feel the NEED to cut off masturbation in addition to porn , after you abstained from porn for an adequate amount of time and witnessed the great benifits it caused, you can cut off also masturbation.
    Same concept as I would suggest to someone who is addicted to cigarettes. Im not a big professional on this topic but I would tell him to cut off the heavy cigarettes first - smoke a healthier type. Then , as the next habilitation step He cuts off , gradually , the amount of cigarettes he smokes per day . For example , If he smoked 2 packets per day , now he will smoke only 1.5 packets. It will be a huge challange for him at the beginning , but he is improving step by step towards the final destination . then in the following weeks(or months) he will lower the amount of cigarettes he consumes untill he reaches 0.
    The point I want you to understand is that when you cut off instantly an addiction, from 100 to 0, it will destroy you . The beginning of this rehabilitation process may be quicker,however, your addiction will be more likely to defeat you quickly. if you fight it in a smarter , graduated way of exposing yourself to a more difficult level step by step you will have better results over time: Your brain will get used to the conditions over the time which causes you to have less instant withdrawal symptoms . As a result you experience less relapses and more enjoyable rehabilitation process. I understand everyone wants to have their addictions(problems) lifted NOW, removed IMMEDIATELY, which causes them to have less rational, more emotional based decisions. Delayed gratification is the key, as well as strong will power . Fight your addictions the smart way.
    I hope it helped you and good luck in your journey!
     
    Sileon, DayOne44 and ManHvnBnd like this.
  7. Doupleastronaut

    Doupleastronaut Fapstronaut

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    how old are you? do you have wet dreams? how many wet dreams do you have?
     
  8. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    I'm having a hard time too.

    There are several things that encourage me "not to throw in the towel".

    One is portrayed in your picture. Seeing the bird flying away from the clutches of those hands reminds me that freedom is there. It looks so good to be flying free like that. But if we give up it will never happen.
     
  9. ArduousPath

    ArduousPath Fapstronaut

    A person can have all the riches in the world, but if he is trapped in his mind, then he won't ever be free. Once you recognize the existence of nofap, then one can't simply go back to PMO. It's a beautiful thing that should be embraced as a permanent lifestyle.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2019
  10. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    I'm 16. I have only had a few wet dreams since I started nofap. Specifically after I get a 20 day streak, which has only happened twice
     
    Jonny1992 likes this.
  11. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    There's a lot of talk here about non-Nofap stuff as far as reaching your potential though. How many of those have you tried?
     
  12. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    If that can help, i've done 170 days hard mode and almost a year soft mode, and that didn't lead to anything...
     
  13. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

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    I often read and heard people, who took hard illegal drugs, and they said, it was easier to give up on such things, but porn addiction, was the hardest.

    I can feel your despair.
     
    Wugazi32, Reborn_ and wwtl like this.
  14. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Don't give up. It takes time.

    You already made progress, if you feel bad about PMO.

    I even joined 30 days after the fact, but it's deceiving. I struggled for five years before I got a worthwhile streak going. The year preceeding that I was trying really hard to not disappoint my king, but never made it past a few days. Then I desperately asked for help ("at least a week, please!") for Easter and now I have to keep alert all the time to nourish the gift of grace and not fall back into sin.

    Even two week streaks weren't in then picture for me. You can be proud of yours. Try to repeat them consistently.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  15. If you've tried and failed for just two years, you ought to count yourself lucky. Lot of people here have been losing the war for much longer. Stop bitching and keep going.
     
    BigOne79, Curry and Jonny1992 like this.
  16. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    I've tried the really popular stuff like meditating, working out, taking cold showers, waking up and going to bed earlier, better diet, etc. Daily journaling as well.
     
  17. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    After reading all of the comments, I think my best bet is too quit porn first. I will quit all internet usage in general, including porn. I have always been a fan of going hard mode, but I think in my case, it will be best to quit porn, while also eliminating time wasters. Without internet, I will be much more productive, and in a month or two, I believe I will be very prepared to go hard mode (no masturbation)

    I have noticed that in life, most decisions have two choices. Sometimes there is a good and a bad decision. But more often there is a "normal" and a "bad" or a "normal" and a "good" decision. For example, meditating. If I meditate, that is a good decision. If I don't meditate, that it pretty much neutral or "normal." Hopefully that makes sense. Anyways, I have always been better at choosing a "good" decision over a "normal" decision, than choosing a "normal" decision over a "bad" decision. I believe that by eliminating porn, and taking away the pressure to not masturbate, I will masturbate less, because I have changed it from a normal/bad to a good/normal.

    I was looking at my schedule yesterday and to my surprise I realized that I have very little uses for the internet, yet I still use it a lot. I will only use the internet for three things. A podcast I listen to while working out, my online school, and an app I message a few friends on.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  18. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    I wish I'd had the fucking balls to quit this when I was younger. Porn will suck your time, your energy, your potential, your sex life, your ambition, your self-esteem, and your finances (you don't have to subscribe to lose money). Other than that, it's great.
    If you think quitting is tough when you are young, add 25 years to your age. It's worse. You wanna be that guy?
     
  19. Irrational Guy

    Irrational Guy Fapstronaut

    Do you use a porn blocker? This seems to do the trick for me and I have been trying this for 6 years now.
     
  20. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    So true. Also leads to terrible places people never thought they’d end up.
     
    ArduousPath and Ogikubo like this.

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