Today I saw a really nasty dream. I was awake at the time of the O. I started to wonder if I was even asleep during this ”dream”. I can’t really decide if I was fully conscious seeing that dream or if it was just another wet dream with a bad timing. After the O, I notied I could open my eyes. This was unsual since usually after a wet dream I sort of immediatly wake up. Today I just didn’t have the sensation of waking up. It felt like I was just opening my eyes, and that scares me. Also the content of the dream were so nasty that I’m feeling sick of it. Never even thought about this kind of things while I was addicted. This concerns me since I’m on streak 100+ days for the first time and don’t want to lose it. Didn’t have wet dreams for about 60 days.
you are starting to realize just how messed up your brain is, on the surface porn doesnt seem bad but in reality it has no limit to how evil it is. Porn showed me the depth of depravity, trust me its not something you want to see or know, its pure evil, its as far away from God you can get i imagine.
Now that I have thought about it, I think I won’t count it as a relapse because I had no chance to prevent it, since it started most likely while I was still sleeping. Just gotta be careful with the urges that may follow that dream. Also, maybe it’s a change for the better to start to realise how disgusting porn can be.
