my mom hates me. she won't say it. she might say she always loves me but her action say something different. it's really tough talking to her. She's always hyper-active when it comes to talking to me. In an irritable mood and then takes out all her frustration that she has from her marriage by telling me mean stuff. It hurts, i know that all homes have such a problem and none are perfect but i have come to believe that marriage is for people who want drama and continuous updating on ways to cheat scream and howl. why have children when you know you're not good enough a person to raise a kid right. why go through the pain? and then justify the howling on the basis that you're my parent. It hurts.
I am not sure, but you sound as if you are younger. My parents had issues, and I thought many hardened and callous things about them and about their marriage, especially of my father, but time and experience really changed my perspective. You are in the midst of new hurts as well as starting to become aware of the harms they've caused in the past. That can make understanding your parents a hard thing, especially when you are coming up on the time to set the foundation for your life. All I can say is that as you get older, you realize that your parents were just people, they were kids who came out of the same storm of youth, with their own hurts, neglects, and lacks, and that they were just doing what made the most sense to them at the time. Unfortunately that often means that they hurt their children, but those are just lessons you can take for how you don't want to treat others. If you decide to have kids, or even just become an influence in another a kid's life, it can give you insight in how to deal with them. You won't be perfect either, but I think all of us try to learn from our past and try to do better from what we've learned. Sorry to hear your home life is rough though. I hope that you find your way through it gracefully, and I really hope that you have some people that you can connect to about these sorts of things.
