Shame spiral

Really trying to escape that guilt/shame cycle at the moment.
It's worth saying i have come along way since I first joined the forum.

But still caught in that relapse, binge, feel ashamed and that I don't deserve anything as I spend hours at night edging, then neglecting real life as shame kills my motivation, drive or enthusiasm for it. Thus binge again.

I know it's peaks and trophs and an upwards trend of recovery. But I feel like s**** for binging and then it's really difficult to feel like I deserve to work hard and achieve.

It's weird that when I watch p, I don't see exploited women/men who need money or independent people trying to use pixels to get you to waste your time and pay them. I see a warm glow and a dopamine high. CBT-wise I need to interrupt this though pattern. Perhaps, writing down the reality of p when I feel myself in this dopamine addicted state.

 

Yeah 100%. The annoying thing is the answer is literally written here in front of us hundreds of times over. Yet I still get drawn back down the relapse. Best of luck on your journey brother

 

Thank you brother!