I agree and acknowledge that dating apps in general are a bad thing for me in my addicted state. I've been fighting PMO for almost 5 years. I'm down to almost no porn, a little bit of erotica and a constant install - uninstall battle with dating apps. They are a gateway to PMO/fapping. They are the last obstacle in my way of shaking this thing and I am struggling to shake them. Rationally I can tell myself that the apps are bad because: The tech has been set up in a way that feeds my addiction. The girls are many times not real. The girls are many times scammers (e.g. I can't count the number of phones being cut off, flat tires, short on rent, etc. sob stories I've been given .. such obvious fraud attempts but getting to the fraud is a waste of time -- and, no, never fallen for it). Time wasted in the apps would be better spent growing as a person. All those things -- and more -- are true. But sitting here trying not to PMO as a single the fantasy is that "she" is in the app, I just need to find her. The reality of my situation is if I find her and we hook up I'm likely to fail to perform. And that will start a cycle of shame all over again. I'm committed to both the 90 day challenge and the 100 day Spartan challenge. I'm committed -- personal contract with myself -- to a personal improvement project of 90 days that ends on 1/24. I rationally know that I have to go at least 90 days (done it before in this fight and know what an important milestone it is for me) before I can really entertain any woman in my life. And admit that even after 90 days and a woman that I will have to keep from PMOing or things will tumble again. But I have to get to 90 days. And my compulsive dance with these apps is a struggle. Anyone else have that struggle? Shake it? Thoughts and/or advice?
Hey mate, I began to suffer with PIED a few years ago and a couple of months back found NOFAP and started to understand what the issues were. I removed all porn, suggestive imagery from my phone and even stopped fantastsing in my head. I was committed to a Hard Reboot as I wanted to become the man I knew I could be and have a healthy relationship with sex / masturbation. But, I was excuse myself and allow dating apps as I was also convinced that I would 'find the one' and it would drag me out of this hole I found myself in. But being entirely honest, it merely replaced porn. The fantasising of who it is your are seeking/talking to. The naturally firtly and suggestive conversations. It's akin to porn. The mental pleasure cause by virtual stimuli. This was the killer, 80% of the times I relapsed it was because I browsed apps, got turned on and then fapped. In the end, I told myself that If I wanted to do this, then no excuses. Man up, delete the app and commit. I highly reccoment that you do the same if you want to see progress. You're playing with fire and you're the only one that will lose from it. Stay strong man
Thanks for that. Frankly, I know what you share is true. I need to hear it from others to get enough strength to man up to it.
You have to think about what gives you greater pleasure. Idly wasting your time on an app playing Russian roulette with a relapse? Or committing to being a better & healthier man? that’s what I ask myself
I could not agree more. I was able to stop watching porn after a couple of tough weeks. However, Tindr, Bumble and others were the replacement. I've used thos apps with great success and screwed myself into oblivion, but of course it was just sex. I would imagine myself doing all the things I liked watching porn, like fisting or gang bangs with these women. Otherwise I could never finish. I can only get a good hard on with a C pill too. So it is all fake. Just 2 days ago I finally realized what it was and deleted ok cupid and all the rest. So now I'm no porn, no dating apps, but still wanking like a muthafucka. Bit you know what, it is progress. Going from full on to 90 days of total abstinence is a hard hit to the system. I'm learning and progressing everyday.
Good luck to you mate, it can be done. Depending on what your goals are, cutting down on masturbation brings a tonne of benefits. And going full cold turkey is a hard but also doable. And trust me, it’s worth it.
