Considering we live in a highly sexualised society. One solution I found and took to this problem was give up social media altogether. It was a big and a tough decision to make. Furthermore, I hardly watch films and TV programmes as well. But I feel that it has helped my progress in recovering and overcoming my PMO addiction. It really helps me in being evasive and avoiding triggers.
SEX, sex, sex. In the eyes of the marketing people, advertisers, editors of magazines and newspapers, film, music videos and television programme producers. It’s what attracts people to the material, view it and get them talking. Publicity in other words. So, it would be accurate to say that sex sells. But I have one major concern, and this isn’t just down to me doing NoFap. In me wanting and having the desire to break this dirty habit – and get rid of this skeleton in my closet – that it is/was my addiction to porn. I don’t want to come across as a prude. But with so many people being exposed to provocative material at a young age. It’s real a concern for children – particularly in their pre-teens. It takes the innocence away from them, and can be detrimental to their childhood. A growing issue within our society. But it’s not just children that are vulnerable in this matter. I feel that adolescents are also affected too. In having to look – or even feel – a certain way. It’s always affected women, though it is a growing problem amongst men as well. Where more and more people are becoming objectified, and judged by their looks. Again, this can have an adverse effect to mental health and well-being of people. It got me asking this. Does living in a highly sexualised society encourage people down the slippery slope to porn - and the addiction to it?
Society is trash, sex sells and all the big companies care about is money, this affects everyone, people look at magazines,tv,... they see those unrealistic women and men and want to be like them. Children this days are exposed to certain things that they shouldn't, and this will have a huge impact on their life.
On the one hand, the private, we have to develop a thick skin to all the skin you see; and on the other, the public, we have to fight for better standards. No nomad, we are social animals. Once your mind is de-pornified, then you will find a lot of the more floosy types positively unattractive [the two are tied at the hip]. Your sensibility is quickly recalibrated to register the outward appearance as merely the minor factor in attraction, with character coming to play the major part. And wallah! A plain dressed '6.5' can suddenly become gorgeous.
As long as men are salivating at the mouth, over all the flaunted ostentatious sexuality in which we are flooded today, we lose our power. It's like a conspiracy or something............................................ something beginning with f.
Good for you! However, I'd suggest we also need to desensitize ourselves to sexuality, or deflate an over-inflated libido, as we will always, unless we become a hermit, be exposed to sexuality.
When in recovery, you eventually see the things you once looked at with lust by now looking at the situation in disgust. For example, a woman in a certain “Instagram pose”: Spoiler In the mirror, taking a picture of her backside with her phone as she looks down on her butt; this body part she seems to view now as her “pride”. It’s not just the woman herself, per se, but it is society’s success in pushing this type of narcissism on what seems to be every young person these days. You begin to look at these images and just shake your head, thinking ‘what the hell is wrong with people these days.’ Trust me, you’ll get to that point. But it won’t be easy. You need to put in the work. You need to change your mindset and your lifestyle. Do some research on narcissism if you need a nudge in that direction. But all is not lost for good. You’ll make it through.
We can't control or change society's ways of it being image driven, thus being sexualised. But we can change or control our attitudes, but also on how we deal with it, or how we react to it.
Haha some 6.5 could be someone's 20 lol I now find myself hating to rank people by numbers just based merely on looks plus it wouldn't like it if it was done to me but you're completely right I'm starting to see how porn use to distort my sense of beauty that's not external that's all within
The goal is not to eliminate sexuality in society, it is to be able to develop self-control so that you can handle it.
I should also say kudos on giving up social media. Shit contributes to depression something fierce. Dunno if this is a study kind of crowd, so I'll just link an article: here
As for mental health, yeah. Being unhealthy should take a mental toll on a person... that's the mind trying to tell the body to smarten up and take of itself. Make no mistake, if you have rolls anywhere, or can't lift a gallon of milk without grunting, you should not have a 100% positive self esteem. But many of our archetypes (ideal personifications) of "attractive" have gone into the unhealthy and downright non-existent. Women are caked in makeup, have their pics manipulated like crazy, (bigger boobs, longer legs) and every freckle smeared out. Gay dudes mostly dominate the fashion industry and (surprise, surprise) tend to pick models that look more like slim boys rather than girls. Shirtless actors and dudes on, say, Men's Health aren't shopped as much, but they do, like bodybuilders and amateur wrestlers have to dehydrate to such extreme levels that they risk permanent damage if done too often. It's almost like the ad industry (and thus the viewing public) has forgotten what healthy looks like. Honestly, I don't think porn would have nearly as many negative side effects if the people in them still looked like the porn stars of the 70s and 80s.
I dont think its a positive that our society is over sexualized as this makes PMO seem like its natural. It doesnt bother me because your response to a trigger is the only true way to test your progress. I dont even clear my search history after a relapse and I dont use the blockers because if I cant resist then I still have a a problem. Its not like I'm ever gonna be able to download tit blocker plus and install it on real life to blur out all the chicks that dress like sluts walking down the street. When I can see these things and not get distracted and tempted then I know I'm doing well.
I am trying to get out into the real world in my recovery. But I end up finding lots of girls wearing gym outfits when not at the gym, or just other clothing that's a bit much. Blocking out things on social media, TV etc. is much easier. We can change those things overnight. I guess two simple things that help in real life are trying not to look for too long, and engaging fully in what we're doing. So we might be at the grocery store and there's a few women in gym attire, but we can look up and smile at their face as we walk by, and find whatever we're buying and go.
