Hi, I was just wondering if you all (especially those who have experienced success/a major transformation through NoFap) are sexually dominant or submissive. I'm submissive and was thinking that those who are most successful with NoFap tend to be sexually dominant? I know this is a pretty stupid question, but I'm just curious. So please don't be mean lol.
Dominant and submissive is actually about self-worth. If you have high self-worth and you believe that you deserve all the best things for which you go and take them --> you are dominant. If you have low self-worth and you believe deep down that you dont deserve things and you have only value when you fulfill other's people needs --> you are submissive. I dont personally believe that NoFap itself will be enough to increase your self-worth so drastically to shift you from submissive to dominant. But it might provide good opportunity for other development. In my opinion combination of personal development literature, therapy and life experiences can rise that value. I can only confirm based on my experience that once you significantly increase your self-worth you will automatically move towards dominant spectrum.
Why not both? Switch that up, sex doesn't have to follow a manual, nothing wrong with her being on top or bottom.
I don’t think people on here need to know my sex habits, although I do agree with @HatePorn about the checkers, although I find more fun in chess.
I think i will reply with a honest answer i find myself wanting to be a bottom boy.man to man but be a bottom if that makes sense
Successful people are typically the submissive ones. They spend all day being dominate in all other aspects of their lives so when it comes to bedroom stuff, they like a little role reversal.
Being submissive has absolutely nothing to do with low self-worth. Some people get their enjoyment from making sure their partner's enjoyment is the priority.
With respect Justin, self-esteem has nothing whatever to do with sexual dominance or submission. You said this was based on your personal experience, but it is too sweeping a generalization about the complexity of sexual preferences. See here.
Seriously? Jen@8675309 and IGY? You can possibly believe what you wrote! Not after seeing here on nofap hundreds of messages from submissive guys fighting against femdom. Every single one of them have self-esteem issues and they feel somehow inadequate (face/body/cock/behavior/money) and they feel that because of this they do not deserve right treatment. Actually, the deeper feeling of inadequacy the further they go on femdom ladder. Moreover I watch documentary Slutever (2018) - S01E02 - Lifestyle Slaves - (it might be triggering for somebody - be aware). It was documentary about guys who go on that femdom ladder as far as it gets and become all day long slaves exchanging for harsh treatment from dominants. When they later talk to them privately every single submissive has deep self-worth issues and genuinely believe that because how they are they do not deserve another treatment and they have a (small) value only when they please others. On the contrary when they talk to dominants they had always very high self-worth that they are so great that they naturaly deserve special treatment from slaves. I could only share my experience (what I did). My self-worth used to be like 3/10 and after reading several personal development literature, attending many therapies, sharing openly in support groups meetings, cleaning my emotional baggage, dealing with childhood trauma, correcting wrong inner believes developed from early childhood and most importantly after new life experience that reinforced the new beliefs & corrected thinking, my self-worth grow significantly to 9/10 or 9.5/10. There is still some work but I can see that my self-worth is far higher the one of average person who did not needed to deal with it. And as I already said my sexual preference changed from submissive to dominant. I used to jerk of to femdom, preferred dominant womans, always let the woman choose what to do on date (what she liked) etc. Now it is exact opposite, I cant get hard to femdom even if I want to, I prefer slightly submissive women, I know what I want from life and I just go for it. On the dates its me saying when we are going (do something what I like) but it seems she has always great fun too (much better then before).Not only on dates but everywhere in life I just do what I want and everybody usually follow. And OP asked about shifting from submissive to dominant. This is only way I know of and that worked for me. Maybe these examples with slaves are bit extreme but you need these extreme cases to see what is the core problem. Actually it is not low self-worth but lower self-worth who is submissive in the couple. You can have with your parter both very high self-esteem lets say 9/10 and 9.5/10 but it will be the one with 9.5 who will be slightly more dominant since exactly same principle applies although in this case it might be not as easy to spot as in extreme cases.
I agree but this is because in the core they were not dominant and only life circumstances forced them to be dominant. Faking it (what they needed to do) takes lot of energy and therefore obviously when it comes to sex they just resign and show your true self - the submissive. True dominant person who know what he wants and just go for it (that is a definition of dominant). Why the fuck he would build somebody else dream (manager at McDonals, boss in some company) when he can build his own dream (own his McDonals, found his own company, do what he likes). It is actually people with lower self-worth who go this middle management positions because they fear that without power or money they are nobody and they need them for happy life.
Yes, you need to change any insecurity that is possible to change and embrace those that are impossible to change. No more hiding of anything. That's how your self-worth grows.
I relate man, Im basically like you before you changed through NoFap. I haven't ever been on a streak longer than eight days.
I don't mind being dominant now and then, but all in all I definitely like being submissive with my partner and it personally makes me feel more feminine.
But...but how do you have self-worth and no self-worth? Oh boy,this is just a huge stick to the spokes of Justin’s “either or” philosophy on sexual positions and self-worth! Where would your position fall on the bro science spectrum??? Alpha? Beta? Omega? Pi? My god someone give me a Greek letter so my world can make sense again!!!! —————— Oh and @potato bop I consider myself omnipositional.
Straight, I choose celibacy over sex. I lean more and more to Heteroromantic Asexual every day. I have BDSM fantasies that I refuse to act out because of my celibacy, but would entertain being the dominate partner. I have been celibate for so long that at this point I would probably say N/A to your answer.
