Sexual addiction and same-sex attraction

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by kriss93, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    I just wonder that many gay men are sex addicts, if not all of them.
    What you think, is there a connection between sex addiction and same-sex attraction?

    I've read somewhere that sex addiction is one of the reasons why basically straight men can get into same-sex affairs...and I'm on my way to cure my sex addiction and go off from porn and yes, I feel significant improvements, but there's some kind of "mild-attraction" still there towards men (but it's really unwanted,even my mind sometimes tries to convince me it isn't). I've read somewhere that curing from sexual addiction may can be successful but they came with the example of "celibate gay priests" as they remained gay after curing their sex addiction. As I've read this I'm getting afraid that these unwanted feelings will remain in me.:/ What you think?
    (Maybe of course we don't know if those "celibate" priests aren't masturbating excessively or watching porn, etc....being celibate maybe just means not acting out the feelings but I think people can do cold turkey to get these feelings eliminated for a long time.)

    What you think guys? I really feel improvements but I became insecure after reading this...
     
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  2. Ranvanp

    Ranvanp Fapstronaut

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    I don't know that being gay comes from being a sex addict but there are many many examples on this site of porn addicts being lead down a gay sex path.

    There is always a chance that you may be gay but it is pretty unlikely and just because you find a man mildly attractive doesn't mean that you want to have sex with him. After all, you undoubtedly find many more women extremely attractive but that doesn't mean you want to have sex with all of them either.

    One of the problems with porn, or any sort of addiction really, is that we constantly need larger amounts of the product to get our kick.
    With porn, it means you need to constantly push the boundaries of what you find stimulating. From what I have read and seen this inevitably leads to some sort of gay/sissy/hypno/ts type genre, or to rampant heterosexuality/prostitutes/dating apps/multiple partners, or to some other taboo such as incest/cuckolding.

    Interestingly, you don't really see many people with bdsm/sm here. My guess is that this is a true fetish and it does not cause the practitioners much personal issue.

    So mate, you are probably not gay. Through self abuse and porn you have probably wired your brain a bit differently and it will take time to re-wire it. There is a great little video on Youtube by Paula Hall, "Road to Brighton". Worth a watch.
     
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  3. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    After doing extensive research and battling my own addiction i can safely say that masturbation itself is the root of same sex attraction.

    People are extremely quick to dismiss this but it is rather so simple and obvious it probably pisses them of they ignored it for so long.

    When you masturbate, you are not only getting your penis stimulated, you are stimulating a penis. It does not matter it is your own or not. What matter is that you are extremely sexually aroused and you associate stroking dick with pleasure.

    There's two steps really to sexual arousal or any pleasurable thing. First is LACK OF REVULSION. Revulsion kills pleasure, it snaps you out of it. So for example if you are sexually aroused and something happens that you find revulsive (let's say the toilet drainage busts and a horrible smell comes your way), you will lose sexual arousal and interest. But some people won't, and some will even enjoy it. They are called scatophiles.

    So the first step is to turn revulsion to indifference. Indifference happens when you're neither feeling disgust nor pleasure. This is where the second step begins to happen. Since you're not feeling disgust and keep doing that behavior that is also pleasurable, you will start feeling pleasure along with the behavior. This is called classical conditioning and it's a fundamental fact in biology. Classical conditioning also works on removing revulsion.

    So yes, i think same sex attraction is very common, people don't realize that pmo addiction is SSA addiction too.
     
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  4. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Can we have a conversation bother? I have wrote to u. Youre reply is really motivating.
     
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  5. swe87

    swe87 Fapstronaut

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    I say no. I don't think a gay person is more of an addict than a straight person. The difference between gay and straight ppl is that gays takes advantage of the good parts that comes of NOT living the traditional lifestyle of straight ppl - like starting a family and have kids.
    What would you do if you didnt had kids? You would travel more, visit more parties have fun, take more risks in general following your dreams, get that job in another city/country etc - AND you would most likely have sex take a larger role in you/your partners life. Since you have the time, and fewer responsabilities. Just to enjoy life. And theres a theme around sexual freedom in the LGBTQ organisations, that make it easier to talk about sex in general - and also to have more sex because it's a healty thing. But as we know, an addiction is never good.

    I think its common to sometimes feel an attraction to the sex you usually dont have sex with. I'm a gay guy and have had a couple of times felt an urge to have six with a girl. But then when the opportunity presents itself, naah, maybe not. =)
     
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  6. Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    I have the same issue! For me I always thought that it was because my older brother is gay, that maybe my PIED with girls was linked to me being gay. I use to seriously panic when these thoughts entered my mind. I even went as far as trying to watch gay porn, but to no surprise at all I felt no attraction to it. I kept trying to prove to myself that I am not gay and maybe that is also why I masturbated more after my first PIED experience. To top it off, the girl that I first noticed PIED with took me to a gay bar, which I was unaware was going to happen. *I do not have a problem with homosexuals whatsoever, this was just my thought process*

    A year and a half later I can easily dismiss these thoughts and sometimes laugh at them when they come up. I think I was able to achieve this power of dismissing thoughts from dedication to meditation. Trust when I say it helps.

    Now all that is left is to stop my porn and masturbation addiction..... if you ever need to talk about this message me man.

    Lets keep pushing.
     
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  7. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    In my case i think its about gender identity. My mind sometimes "automatically" identifies With a woman. For example when i see a couple on a pic, And if i am trying to identify With the man, it sometimes successful And then i am Very happy, but sometimes it is kinda inner "pain" feeling, its really hurting And awkward. We Can speak more about the topic in covnersation if u want, i am open to it.
     

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