Sexting addict with guilt looking for help

somessedup · Aug 27, 2018

hi all, 26 year old guy here. I've been addicted to porn and sexting since I was about 10 years old. I've maintained several relationships during that time, including a 3 year relationship that I'm currently in. I've been watching porn probably every night I'm alone (at least 85%) since puberty, and I'm a rampant sexter- the partners go into the high hundreds. During my current relationship, I've maintained a few sexting relationships- two people that I chatted with over months, a few more sporadically and a handful of one times. Recently I also cheated on my girlfriend physically, and I felt so guilty I told her. After telling her, the guilt over 16 years of sexting has come out. Sharing pics, hiding what I do, staying in bed smoking pot and sexting. It's painful to the point that I've considered suicide as a viable option. To make matters worse, I'm currently in Germany while I live in Canada. I've been incapable of functioning for the past week over this guilt and I have no idea what to do. I can't tel my girlfriend my secret- not because she'd leave which she'd be wel within her rights to do, but because of the burden on her, as well as the fall out of everyone knowing my secret. It would ruin my life. Thankfully I've left no traces whatsoever. The only way anyone would find out is my me admitting it.

Anyways, I'm making plans to take an emergency flight home tomorrow morning and I've made a reservation for a stay in suicide crisis centre in my hometown for the day after. That said, I know I don't want to die, I just want to rid myself of this guilt. I'm hoping someone reading this has gone through with it and can share some words. I also am not sure if an admission would make things better- I think I have some psychological issues in charge here, but I just don't want to hurt anyone else.

Help?

Deleted Account · Aug 27, 2018

Guilt is a huge thing that we all feel especially when in a relationship.
Don't feel alone in this.
It's good to hear that you are taking yourself in to get help.

Deleted Account · Aug 27, 2018

somessedup said: ↑

I've made a reservation for a stay in suicide crisis centre in my hometown for the day after
Click to expand...

Good for you seeking help , that's a brave first step I think your on the way to beating this and making a comeback get well soon

fireblaster · Aug 27, 2018

Bro do read this,
It got me through some strong urges.
http://husbandhelphaven.com/porn-addiction-withdrawal-walkthrough/
All the very best!!

PaulGuy · Aug 27, 2018

This sounds like what I've gone through in many ways. I've been sexting many people and it led to very, very close encounters, but I was always able to just pull back and stop before it got that far. I think I've been doing that for 15 years give or take, but the guilt is still there. There were a lot of sexually-charged photos back and forth, and definitely emotional cheating. The absolute best thing you can do is tell your girlfriend. Yes, it might be a burden on her and, yes, it is possible that she will leave you. However, you can't smother guilt. It either comes out or eats you alive.

In my opinion, I would tell her. Let her know the full extent of what is going on and what you are struggling with, it's the best way for both of you to recover. Also, I want to say that I'm happy you're checking yourself in before attempting suicide. That's the best thing that you can do right now. Congrats on having enough mental clarity to do that, we certainly don't want to lose you.

When you're ready (and you'll know when), tell your girlfriend. It's ultimately your decision, but this would be the best way to stop the guilt.

Log in

Sexting addict with guilt looking for help

somessedup New Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

Deleted Account Guest

fireblaster Fapstronaut

PaulGuy Fapstronaut

Share This Page