Sex After PMO (and during your reboot)

Sam Hell · Feb 21, 2017

I have a question...

While I seem to be okay in the PIED department already (i.e. I can rise to the occasion), the DE is still clearly an issue (as compared to what is typically described as "normal").

One concern I can see is having the idea of edging become something I engage in with my SO. In other words I don't want to replace a bad sexual habit (PMO) with another one. My SO and I discussed this together this morning. Right now what we've decided is to set some boundaries on our intimacy, and essentially schedule when said intimacy will go beyond light petting and necking. My fear is that I start craving having her edge me during sex, thereby 1) prolonging the experience, and 2) making it seem like work or a chore, or something that she has to commit time, emotional energy, and expectations towards.

Our affirmation to one another is that when it comes to our intimacy, we won't have any expectations or desired outcomes. That we will just enjoy the moment. We have agreed to set time limits/boundaries before hand and adhere to them, but of course spontaneity is the spice of life and, already, we have failed to set said boundaries.

I'm just looking for guidance. As I've said before, I'm totally okay with being intimate with my SO and having recovery from PMO take much longer. So please don't come at me with hard reboot answers. I'm looking for guidance in the construct of building a healthier relationship with my SO.

staub · Feb 21, 2017

Heya, for me it seems like you already ghave the answer. Kinda.

If she know's your struggle with PMO and your "fear" of replacing the habbits, just let her keep guard. I personally don't think orgasms are the bad part in all this.
And if you are insecure just keep doing noPMO hardmode longer (I know you said not to say so buuuht... ).
Apart from that it's great that you have a partner that supports you, evne with that.

I'm not 100% on the edging you mean. From what you wrote I asume it's going near climax, then stopping and coming down a bit and repeating. If so, just go down on her before and make her feel good, then just have sex and don't edge.
This way she won't be left unfinished and you won't edge. Also, if you're going at it I can't imagine that you could reeeally stop if she wouldn't let you. Edging is so close to orgasm that even some movement from her will push you over.
Maybe that's an idea?

Your ticker says 8 days in, keep strong.

CaptainOlimar · Feb 22, 2017

I'm in a similar situation, I don't know how to go about recovery while still being intimate with my wife, though at the same time, I don't want to replace a bad habit with another one. I think you're on the right path with communication, that's key. My wife and I talk about it too, so it really helps to have someone who has your back.

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Sex After PMO (and during your reboot)

Sam Hell Fapstronaut

staub Fapstronaut

CaptainOlimar Fapstronaut

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