Severe urge and no support from SO should i go to a escort

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Wannachange75, Mar 8, 2018.

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  1. Wannachange75

    Wannachange75 Fapstronaut

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    i am on day 66 no pmo. First time in my life that i have been without O or MO or PMO for so long. I am on the journey to recover from my PIED.

    I have no co operation from my SO. Our sex life has never been great but with PIED it is bad. I have not told her about nofap but when i approach her she justs shuns and snubs me away

    Having too much of an urge i guess i am rebooting. I don’t want to go back to porn should i go to a escort . Is it not better than PMO. I may not O with the escort can i atleast try if my PIED is cured
     
    NICEDUDE likes this.
  2. DainTrinity

    DainTrinity Fapstronaut

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    What do you feel you will gain from going to an escort ? Do you think afterwards you will feel fulfilled, or do you think you will feel unsatisfied ? I have bought escorts, thinking that will solve my issues with IP if I had something physical, but it doesn't feel like anything but disappointment afterwards. I think what you really want, from your post, is to connect with your SO, and have her communicate with you. I would consider other avenues into that. It might be difficult but if she really wants to be your SO, she is going to have to communicate with you.
     
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  3. Wannachange75

    Wannachange75 Fapstronaut

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    Agree with you it may not fullfill but my SO doesnt seem opening up for a discussion at all. Let me wait and try
     
  4. kero sen

    kero sen Fapstronaut

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    Bad idea my friend... "can i atleast try if my PIED is cured" that right there is your brain tricking you into this, finding reasons and excuses to make this seem ok .. dont go there, you will regret it. Its better to use your energy to fix your relationship with your SO.
     
  5. There are SOs on this site. Reach out to them. Above all, i believe it would be in your best interest to reveal what you are doing on the NoFap site. I imagine if there is still a chance of reconciliation with your SO, she would like to know what is going on for you. It will also serve to take you out of any denial of what you have, which is porn addiction.

    The escort path will only put you in a position of bonding with a memory of sex with someone who means nothing to you. Presumably, you would like to be bonded to your SO. If that is the case, do what you can to nurture that bond.

    Be honest with her. Part of the path of the addict is lying. Being truthful helps break the pattern.

    To really get the bonding vs addiction idea, watch this:
     
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  6. Wannachange75

    Wannachange75 Fapstronaut

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    Yes my brain is tricking me. Should get stronger and reach back to my SO thanks
     
  7. Wannachange75

    Wannachange75 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for putting my thoughts back on track. Really meaninful
     
    Determined_to_Succeed likes this.
  8. You need healthy sexeral experiences. Healthy sexeral relationships. Hookers are for truck drivers and Vegas weekends, not people recovering from pmo adiction
     
  9. NewBeginning2018

    NewBeginning2018 Fapstronaut

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    Still relatively new to the forums. What's a SO?
     
  10. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    I would meet a professional counselor, and understand whether the poor sex life contributed to your porn use and consequent addiction.
    If that is the case I would consider couples counselling to address that. Otherwise no matter how hard you work on nofap it is hard to complete the recovery.

    I agree that if your encounter with a female concludes with guilt/shame/disappointment it could be bad for your recovery.
    It doesn't matter whether it is an escort or strange or a SO.
     
  11. Significant other.
     
  12. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I hate to be a party pooper, but unless you are in Nevada (in the USA, if I read your profile properly) going to escorts is illegal for sex.

    I gotta believe that this forum would never condone committing a crime for the sake of sexual "therapy".

    I just want to give you another perspective. Of course your significant other (SO) would probably HATE the idea of you seeing an escort, but how about asking yourself if you are willing to break the law and risk going to jail "just to check on your PIED".
    Trust me on this one: Bad idea. (and, yes, I've done it........bad idea)
     
  13. furture doctore

    furture doctore Fapstronaut

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    for me, going to escort, is this:
    you pay for their service, in another words, if you don't have money, or even right after you are done, you are nobody to them, they don't even will look at you twice, for them, just another job, they don't care about who you are, how great you are, how honest you are and how strong you are, BUT another man who's horny and hungry for sex.

    for me, i don't want to be nobody, i want to be myself, and recognised as myself. so this thought will throw me off from going escort.
    keep fighting brother, everything you do is worth it.
     
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  14. Champ OK

    Champ OK Fapstronaut

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    your statement is profound. It made a dent in my seemingly hardened conscience on escorts. Thanks
     
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  15. Wannachange75

    Wannachange75 Fapstronaut

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    Very very impactful you have really given me a strong reply to say no
     
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  16. steveo2312

    steveo2312 Fapstronaut

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    Get to 90 days first then try the escort
     
    Gooding likes this.
  17. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Future Doctore made a HUGE statement. Brilliant.

    I feel the same way. I used to go to a "massage therapist" who would give me a handjob after each massage. She acted like she loved me. (I knew better) One day I showed up and got my massage and customary handjob......reached into my wallet to pay her....and...OOOPS! I only have a few dollars in there. I apologized to her profusely and promised to immediately return with plenty. (I had always tipped her generously) By this time I saw her at least a dozen times.

    She grew super angry, kicked me out of the place and told me never to come back.

    THAT is what an escort really thinks of you.
     
  18. steveo2312

    steveo2312 Fapstronaut

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    Who goes to an escort without checking their wallet?
     
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  19. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Fair point SteveO.....What caught me unawares was that I have been to her so frequently. I simply blew it. It has to be at least a dozen times before seeing her that made the contrast in her behavior so off-putting.
     
    steveo2312 likes this.
  20. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    I read this as, you don't go to a escort to be yourself and recognized being what you are. That is reasonable. Most people don't go to an escort for that. :)
     

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