After an epic first streak of eight months I relapsed. That was in march. Three months ago. In the meantime, I made it to 30 days again, but that wasn't much compared to what I had done before. And there are about 30 relapses on my list now. Anyway, I am all in again. I have noticed again how there is a simple, single reason for my relapses: It's because I want to. It's because sometimes, I still like it, just shutting my eyes to the world and to myself for a second, just drugging myself that tiny little bit... But even if it is that way, even if I can't always be strong, I want to use less harmful methods of dealing with this kind of stuff again. Like watching a movie, playing a video game, eating some candy. I just need patience. I know that when I master this urge, everything will fall into place eventually. I already have made huge progress over the last year. I have redefined my view of women and relationships. I have started writing. Being a writer was my dream job as a teenager. I turned to spirituality again, something I had only lived out through music for the previous couple of years. And, while I looked around in many different religions, but never the one of my own culture, I might right now start becoming a Christian. At the moment I feel that's the only way which really makes me connected not only to god, but also to myself, to my own imperfections, to the goods and bads of my personality. I still try to explain it to myself, saying stuff like "it's rooted in my culture, in my own and the collective subconscious, that's why it's my path". But I already see that in the end, it doesn't really matter. I just finished reading a book called "Gott braucht dich nicht" ("god doesn't need you") coming from a Christian woman who went through some shit in her life and describes her inner terror and the development of her faith. It was unsettling and comforting at the same time. Like a toilet flush going through my brain. So... wish me luck! Going for 365 days now.
Hey brother - good luck! Well, you know you have the potential to complete 8 months and more (hard mode). Let me know if there is any specific support you require. I have made a head start, but we can do it together.
Good luck @Headspace ! If you can do 8 months once, you can at least repeat that if not go longer if you want to. I understand that one has to confront the difficulty of deriving pleasure from PMO. One has to be both honest with oneself, be good to oneself, and not repress true feelings. That's why this is often not a straight shot path for most people. Quite honestly, replacing sexual pleasure, which is the highest bodily pleasure, is not easy. Awakening the spiritual power within gives a greater ecstasy but it the same hard path as quitting PMO hard mode. Wish you all the strength you need! YB
Good luck man I watched some of your videos and they were quite instructive, then I started googling teal swan to see what all the fuss was about.
Thanks brother! This woman is definitely not for everyone. You really need to open up your mind. And you need to have an attitude of letting go of judgement, if you want to get something out of it.
