Self Esteem / Love Yourself

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Dante Alighieri, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. True value has no $ value or brand name or pretty face or fame. You can be anonymous, you can be un-trendy, you can have $0 to your name, you can live in your parents' basement, you can literally have no worldly possessions other than the clothes on your back. You can be all of those things and have so much value as a human being!

    Value has everything to do with your mind. If you let others determine value, especially your value as a person, you are selling yourself short on life. Think about it, there are so many "famous people" that have either killed themselves or gotten depressed and ended up in rehab centers over and over again. They went from having a passion to being turned into glorified monkeys jumping through the ring of fire.

    My grandparents died without a cent to their names. In fact, my grandfather had debt up to his eyeballs. They both lived with so much love for their family / other people and so much passion for life that it didn't matter that they were broke. They valued their own lives more than $ and they didn't let the # on their bank account determine how they felt about themselves.

    I'm not saying that it's bad to have $ at all. What I am saying is to honestly ask yourself:

    Are you truly happy in your life?
    Do you feel good about yourself?
    What do you feel signifies value in a person?
    Are you the one determining your value?

    I know how it feels to hate myself and to feel worthless. I know how it feels to think that I have nothing to offer to the world. I do have things to offer the world: love, passion, empathy, kindness, friendship, a renewed and positive mindset. I know that you have things to offer the world too. Love yourself and work on your self esteem. You are worth it!
  2. kevinkevin19

    kevinkevin19 Fapstronaut

    I truly agree on this. Most people want to be rich for the wrong reasons. I also want to be rich, but for the reason not only to buy new things, but new experiences. I want to use that money to travel, take a class that I want, pursue a hobby or interest, make my own business and so many more.

    I also want to use that money to help other people. I want to help by giving to church and charity, serving the homeless and less fortunate, financing a scholar or a poor family who needs their youngest to finish his/her studies, or maybe something as simple as helping a family member or friend with a financial problem. :)
    xedger likes this.
  3. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

    I have been having serious doubts as to whether I want to continue with my IT course, and I often curse myself for being so "dumb" or at least unmotivated to persist with my homework and assignments. It is causing me to stress myself out unnecessarily and to lose my sense of self-love and innocence, and I value my innocence. People often mistake me for naive, but as Jesus said, "be ye wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

    I'm on what's called the Disability Support Pension, which means I'll never have to work another day in my life if I don't want to. But I want to work. I want to have goals and live a normal, happy, fulfilling life. I want to be a "somebody" rather than a "nobody." Is all of this motivated by ambition and envy, I wonder? My schoolwork seems to clash with my desire to benefit myself spiritually and I just want to be left alone to pursue my own goals and forays into Gnosticism.

    My head is telling me that I should continue with the IT course, but my heart is telling me not to. I have plenty to do all day anyway and am thinking of doing some really creative stuff like writing fiction with esoteric references, continuing to work on my website at, and working with my stones like onyx, carnelian etc. for their curious mineral energy that can affect the human constitution. I wonder if I should just get a humble job in a supermarket, rather than continuing to covet a high position in life, and just work on myself for the time being.

    Your thread got me thinking. Thank you.
  4. There is certainly no harm or wrong in having riches! I think that what you are saying is true and I think that you have some great points. Also, I think that it's great to have goals and to be financially responsible.

    Personally, I failed out of college and I live with my mom at 30 years old. My skill set very limited, I don't have a "business mind" that would allow me to start a business and get myself out of the hole that I've created. Even if I wanted to, I have terrible credit and I have debt up to my eyeballs. I don't really have any hope of ever being rich and "successful" in the traditional sense. I was pretty much aiming this at other people, like myself, that really have no hope of ever being financially successful.

    I have no intent of putting down financially successful people, only to help people out there that feel like they have nothing. Thank you for offering the other side of this, as I definitely don't want people to think that I'm being negative in that sense.

    You're not dumb at all. Your reverence and reticence suggests that you are highly intelligent. There are different forms of intelligence. Sometimes, it can feel as though one is not intelligent because we want to be intelligent in a specific type of way. Our society is very critical in this way. If a person doesn't learn certain things in a certain way... They are labelled by their peers and themselves as "not as intelligent", which is total bullshit.

    It sounds like you have a spiritual mind, dare I say that you have a passion for it by the way that you write about it. I know for a fact that there are people that are intelligent in a mathematics / science kind of sense that don't have passion about anything. Even though they make lots of money, they don't feel fulfilled because that passion is missing.

    I had a few friends in high school that were jealous of me in high school because I was passionate about playing guitar. It's not like I was a virtuoso, I just loved doing it. One of my friends said, "I would give up everything that I'm good at to be as passionate as you are about playing music." That statement had a very profound influence on me.

    You seem to think very deeply about your life. I think that you are more aware of yourself than you realize. You even said that you're "unmotivated to persist with your assignments". Maybe the material simply bores you and it's not being presented in a way that you find stimulating. I am glad that this got you thinking. Keep on contemplating, it sounds like you are really getting somewhere with that.
  5. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

    Thankyou Dante. I found your reply inspiring and helpful, and isn't it important to be creative and to make the most out of life? How fulfilling for you to have had such passion for playing music. This is the kind of thing that can inspire others (or make them jealous if they are prone to envy); with a bit of encouragement they can transfer their admiration for what you're good at to a sense of self-confidence such that they become good at and passionate about something too. I am speaking in general here but thinking in particular about my friend's son, who looks up to me and admires me for my commitment to living well and in an organised, orderly manner. I do try to put careful thought into what I do, as you observed.

    My friend's son recently asked me, "Leo, can you show me how you study? I want to see how you do it."

    That got me thinking about my study methods and the necessity of studying often and with enthusiasm.

    What I want, for my own benefit and to set the 11-year-old fellow a good example, is to keep writing notes in my exercise books and summarising information communicated to us in our lectures. Fortunately, it's not all to do with writing. Our IT course has us working on electronic projects like simple computer programs, websites, and hardware. So I can show him all the stuff that's actually on my computer; I'm sure he would prefer to see examples of my work than to hear me go on a long, vague digression about the value of summarising and assimilating information (and some tangent about the ostensible benefits of rote learning). I'd like to show off my books: I have three neatly presented exercise books for the our three modules of IT and it is a pleasure to write in them and work to a high standard.

    I have been over-ambitious in my TAFE study and I am suffering because of it. I want to excel and be the best possible student - as an Aries, I have a strong competitive streak and the bad habit of comparing myself with others. My intention has been to do extra study and incorporate more advanced methods into my computer use: to become a "power user." It is this ambition that is a double-edged sword. I will never be as good with computers as some of my old high school friends and certain Fapstronauts on here; I just have to accept that I am a moderately successful student and that I can't take on too much otherwise I would get stressed out.

    The Guru I met in India said, "Simple living, higher thinking." He told me that I didn't have to learn a trade. It's no big deal if I drop out of IT, but I will certainly get bored. about seven or eight months ago I posted a thread on NoFap called "nothing to do all day." Now it seems like there's too much to do in a day, but if I break things down into smaller,|more manageable tasks, I can get things done efficiently. That is good.

    Thankyou for making this thread, it has been a good chance for me to do some introspection and make sense of the barriers I'm facing to success in life. If I can just get a bit more organised, then I will be on top of things and truly happy. My self-esteem has been at a more or less steady state since I started my computer course. Regarding spiritual matters, I go into great detail on my journals (if you ever want to read them and give me some feedback, that'd be great - the links are there in my signature) and I am slowly developing self-knowledge and self-love. In Greek one says "Gnothi seavton" - "Know thyself." From there it is only a small few steps to forgiving and loving yourself. NoFap is a great environment for this and it is a pleasure to meet kind and intelligent persons such as have posted on this thread.

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