Second Go Around... I will beat this.

Well, I made it 2 weeks and then relapsed. I got cocky and tried to get close with a girl, I was surging like crazy and made a bad decision and asked a coworker out. We didn't have sex but the buildup was just too much for me to handle and I made it 1 day after the date before I relapsed to PMO. This failure was good because it helped me identify some huge triggers I didn't see before and I realized that I can't trust my brain because it will try to trick me by wanting me to do something that will lead to relapse. Thankfully I only binged for 2 days and with the help of my AP, I'm back on the wagon more determined than ever. Its nice that I'm attracted to real women again this soon, one of my porn related problems, but getting close with them is a sure fire way to relapse. I've distanced myself from this girl in a nice, it's not you it's me, way and now there's nothing but me to focus on my recovery. I will beat this 15 year PMO addiction by rebooting for a minimum of 6 to 9 months. I will not have a third attempt, relapse is not an option.

 

Thanks bomonti. That's my endgame, no PMO for life. It seems like since I've started this sex opportunities are everywhere when there were none before, or at least I perceived non because of my addiction but I'm going to hold out for at least 6 months so I can conquer my PMO before I start having physical relationships again.