Last night wasn't too bad but a little bit of a struggle. I think I work at the worst place for my addiction. I work at a college campus. Yeah... those girls walk around with harldy any clothes on during the hot months. It definitely makes it hard. And I work nights. I am always tired and one of my triggers is being tired. I fall a lot easier when I'm tired. But I've started a few different actions in my life in order to fight this dragon. One is a morning ritual. Right when I get up, I pray for help. I really try and make it meaningful and heartfelt and it seems to be helping. Also I read from scripture for a little bit. Then I do a morning meditation with deep breathing. Makes me super relaxed and calm. Then I check this forum. This morning I had thoughts of just looking up bikini pics. "It's not porn, it's harmless.." says my brain. Yeah I'm calling BS on that! Ha at least for me. I don't think I've ever just looked at bikini pics without it escalating quickly to harder stuff. I got a counter for my progress! Thanks @WhoStoleMySock and @Bjourn for getting me those instructions. I set my goal to 25 days. I haven't been able to get that long in years. So I'm gonna do it now! I took a cold shower yesterday and I'm going to take one today. Man those make we go WOOOH when I get in aha. But it's definitely helping because afterwards I have no desire whatsoever. And my brain feels awake. I've noticed the brain fog you all talk about and cold showers really help to clear that up. Also, I've read more about PMO addiction and learning how it differs from a drug addiction. Drugs make us want the same thing over and over and porn makes us want something new and novel. That's why it always escalates to harder and harder stuff. Pretty crazy info but it totally makes sense. So I decided to please my mind in different ways by giving it something new. I just go someplace I've never been before. It might be a drive somewhere and I'll just pull over and walk around for a bit in a neighborhood I've never been to. Or a walk in a new park. Just something new for my mind to explore. It's been pretty cool. Also I put a rubber band on my wrist. Every time I have a thought, I pull that sucker back and ZING! That hurts. Linking physical pain with my bad thoughts is gonna help. I read about a few people having success with that. Anyways just trying out new things and reporting how they are going. You all are exceptional people and it is an honor to read all of your struggles and successes. It gives me hope, and hope is what is keeping me going!
Old thread resurrection! Yep I was thinking of booking hypnotherapy to assist with my thoughts of P and trips to massage parlours but the rubber band trick has been working well.
