A small update to day 12, Aug 28th. Again did not P & M. But had big Os at times and turns ons at times. But I put a setback, reset, relapse due to what happened. I’m back at 4 days. I did this to be honest and for safety as well.
Day 4, Aug 31 complete: no urges to PMO. Again, I did not have a sexualized dream last night. Again, I prayed and asked the trinity to help me and guard me from the sexual dreams and everything in between. I went to bed with nothing and woke up with nothing, praise Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. Thank and praise, Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit, (the trinity). Again, every thought and temptation that tried to come my way, I got rid of them. I did not see anything sexual on my phone at all again today. but if I did, I did not allow them to trigger me. I wasn’t even aroused by most things today. I did see a few weird things on my phone. Lust is sometimes an issue, but I’m not sure if I’m getting better at not lusting or not. But many times it’s hard to control, but I don’t think it was that hard today. But again at times I would lust and times I tried not to. But, it was better at times today. Also, I think Oing is becoming less and less. But still will O at times. I was barely turned on today at all. This morning, I checked nofap. Then I think I did listen to one worship song. Then I did the song I usually do in the morning. Then I read my Bible and prayed. Then I played with my nephew for a while. Then I helped my brother in law with something and also talked with him. Then I went to shower. Then I came down and played with my nephew and watched tv as well. Then my sister and my nephew left and I did collage. I basically did collage most of the day. I did not workout today because I had to get stuff done with collage. I’ll make up for it tomorrow. After that, I came upstairs and got ready for bed. Then I got in bed and started writing this message. I finished writing this message at midnight. thats what happened on that day.
Day 5, Sep 1 complete: no urges to PMO. I started having ideas of Ming when I was in bed this morning, but i was able to stop and not give in. Again, I did not have a sexualized dream last night. Again, I prayed and asked the trinity to help me and guard me from the sexual dreams and everything in between. I went to bed with nothing and woke up with nothing, praise Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. Thank and praise, Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit, (the trinity). Again, every thought and temptation that tried to come my way, I got rid of them. I did not see anything sexual on my phone at all again today. but if I did, I did not allow them to trigger me. I wasn’t even aroused by most things today. If I can remember, I may have seen some things that I thought were weird, but they weren’t sexual. Lust is sometimes an issue, but I’m not sure if I’m getting better at not lusting or not. But many times it’s hard to control, but I don’t think it was that hard today. But again at times I would lust and times I tried not to. But, it was better at times today. Also, I think Oing is still becoming less and less. But I will still O at times. I was barely turned on today at all. This morning, I actually slept. I didn’t check nofap until later in the morning. But when I got up, I did the song I usually do in the morning. Then I read my Bible and prayed. Then I went downstairs and saw my nephew and talked to my family for a while. Then I came upstairs and listened some praise and worship before I got a shower. After my shower, I went downstairs and played with my nephew for most of the day. I also watched tv at times. Then later I went downstairs and worked out and watched the news and hockey. After my workout, I came upstairs and read something in the kitchen while I talked for my mom. Then I came upstairs and got ready for bed. I’m gonna pray before falling asleep. When I got in bed, I wrote this message. thats what happened on that day.
Day 6, Sep 2 complete: no urges to PMO. I thought something was gonna happen this morning, but it didn’t. Again, I did not have a sexualized dream last night. Been praying that no dreams will come and haven’t been having any recently. Only at times. Again, every thought and temptation that tried to come my way, I got rid of them. I saw sexy things at times during the day. Saw a sex scene that I wasn’t expecting and didn’t see it coming. I did have arousals. To my surprise, I still haven’t P & M. I did have Arousals and Os. So I guess I’m not allowing anything to trigger me to P & M. The truth is that lust is an issue easily for me at times. I’m having a hard time at not lusting. Most of the time it’s hard to control and I just go straight to lusting without thinking twice. It’s annoying. At times I would lust and times I tried not to. The other truth is that Oing is still an issue. Many when it starts, it doesn’t stop for a while. Like when I saw that sex scene earlier tonight, I had an O and I’m still having one now. I know what people will say if I ask for suggestions, “Eliminate the thing causing it”. Anyway It’s gotta be way more than just that. I will put a reset for the sex scene and other sexy things I saw. I Also put one because I M’d. This morning, I actually slept. I didn’t check nofap until later in the morning. But when I got up, I did the song I usually do in the morning. Then I read my Bible and prayed. Then I basically played with my nephew a lot of the day and also talked to the family. I helped the family decorate for fall. Then i went to a corner of my land where I could see all of creation and had a very powerful 1 to 2 hours of praise and worship. The creation was and is amazing. I could feel the presence of the trinity in a way. It was so cool, awesome and amazing. I also got some collage done today. I was so busy today, I didn’t take a shower until 6 or 7. Somewhere in there. Then I played with my nephew a little more. Then I went to workout. Then I came upstairs and got ready for bed. When I got in bed, I finished a movie I watched while I worked out. Now I’m writing this. I finished writing very early in the morning. thats what happened on that day.
Back at 0 days: Because of what happened on Wednesday night, Sep 2. I explained what happened, I saw sexy things at times during the day and saw a sex scene in a none sexual movie. The sex scene caused me to have arousals and Os and because of that, I looked up lesbian sex stories and M’d. I just did those not long ago. I feel so guilty and ashamed. I just got on my knees and asked Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit, all the angels, my guardian angel, all the Bible characters and all the people in heaven and all those on earth I let down to forgive me of what I did and for rejecting the Holy Spirit’s warning. I confessed and repented of what I did.
There is absolutely no way that I can and will ever go to heaven. Because I kept and keep rejecting the Holy Spirit when he tells me things of what I'm doing is wrong. Clearly something is wrong with me and my brain. I need to figure out how to avoid any and all sexual things out there. Not just PMO. But everything else as well. Aka, P subs or G stuff.
Back at 0 days again: I did it all. I PMO’d. I can't stand my life. Sorry for the language. But how the hell did I end up here ? I wish God had given me perfect parents. I would have never gotten here or been here if he had done that. They would have taught me about sex and the dangers of sexual sin and all that. But I can't blame him. As much as I want to blame him and my earthly dad, I can't do that.
All parents are imperfect, although some are worse than others. No matter how good or bad our start in life, though, we have to take ownership for ourselves as adults and work through our junk in order to experience the life and peace that Christ offers us. We don't get to heaven based on our performance. If our perfection was the entry qualification, we would all be in pretty bad shape! It is only through receiving Christ's perfection for ourselves -- his gift to us, freely given, unearnable -- that we can have any hope of life at all. But in Christ, our status and future are certain! If you find you want something that is not helpful to you, ask the Spirit to help you learn why that is, show you the lies in your thinking that you have fallen for, and reveal to you the truth that will instead lead you to life and rest in him. Let us know what you learn. We are here to support one another along the way!
Yes, that’s true. Unfortunately, that is also true. Yes. Yes, yes and yes, we do and I agree with that. nope, not at all. Yep and yes, I Highly agree. Yes, it is for sure. Yes, yes and yes. Yes, that’s for sure. Oh yes, I highly agree. yep. You mean sinful ? Yes I am and I will. Okay and got it. okay, I will. Thank you and I really appreciate it.
Hey everyone ! I thought I would share this amazing little story that happened today that I shared with my best friend. The same thing that the devil tried to do last year in January happened just a little bit ago. I was listening to resurrecting and started tearing up a bit and the devil was feeding me all these lies. At the same time, I, (my heart), was calling on God to give me the strength and courage because I'm just so weak. My mind is so weak. Then I started doing the same thing as I did when the devil started chaining me up. But I believe and I know it was God and his spirit. Out of nowhere, I got strength and said, "NO !" I got up and said, "in the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to get behind me Satan". I said, "God is my rock and my protection. I'm a warrior of God. A warrior of God does not let the enemy make me fall". Then I said, "A warrior of God fights until he wins", something like that. Then I said, "I refuse to let you get me to commit suicide". Then I said, "he has put his angels in charge of you. He will command his angels to catch you so you will not hit your foot on a rock". Then I said, "I am going to get out of this room and you will flee from me". That's exactly what happened, I left the room and the enemy fled from me. I was shaking because I knew that God and his spirit was inside. I was shaking because I also knew that the enemy was inside me trying to control me. But God, his spirit and I won. Mic drop !!!
Hey everyone, so I’m not at a full 1 day yet. I’m only 12 hours in. Should I still post now or wait till morning ? Because tomorrow morning is when 1 full day will be completed.
If you have something on your mind post now. It's your journal, main thing is if it's helpful to you.
Day 1 halfway complete: so after the disastrous night last night, late night/early morning and near mid morning. I didn’t really have any big urges to PMO. I did not have a sexualized dream. Probably because I had PMO’d for that late night/early morning and near mid morning. Again, every thought and temptation that tried to come my way, I got rid of them. I did have triggers, but never acted in them. I also tried my best to avoid any more sexual things. I was successful with that. The only trigger or turn on I had was when I was on the streaming program, “Disney+”, where I had watched the movie that had the sex scene in it. But I didn’t watch the movie again. The truth is that lust is still an issue easily for me at times. I’m still having a hard time at not lusting. Most of the time it’s hard to control and I just go straight to lusting without thinking twice. It’s annoying. At times I would lust and times I tried not to. The other truth is that Oing is still an issue. Many times when it starts, it doesn’t stop for a while. This morning after I screwed up, I checked nofap. Then I got up depressed and sad and all. I unhappily and very depressedly did the song I usually do in the morning. Then I tried to read my Bible and pray, I did it, but I was so unhappy and depressed. I felt so guilty and ashamed, I felt so defeated. After reading the Bible, I prayed. I could barely pray at all because of how I was. I could pray, but i just didn’t know what to say even though i knew what to say and said it. I let everyone in haven and all those who loved and obeyed the trinity down. Anyway, after I read my Bible and prayed, I waited to shower. During the time, the enemy feed me a bunch of lies as I sat on the floor tearing up and listening to, “Resurrecting”. My heart cried out to God as the enemy wanted to chain me up and get me to commit suicide as he actively tried in January 2019. But God and his spirit entered me and gave me strength to stand up and fight off the enemy and with truth. I left the room and the enemy fled from me. But I was shaking because I knew that both the enemy had been in me and after, God and his spirit. After that, I went to shower. Then I went with my mom to a few places. Then I came home and played with my nephew for a while, then I went to workout. As I worked out, I watched kid movies. After my workout, I came upstairs and I’m finishing my food. Then I’m gonna go get ready for bed. I’m also finishing This message before bed. That’s what happened today.
The last sentence explains the ones before it. Whatever we focus on is what grows bigger and stronger within us. If you want lust to die off, you must stop feeding it. Every single lustful thought that comes into your mind must be turned over to the Spirit immediately. Ask him to show you the lies in it and the truth that replaces it. Then focus on the truth instead! If you keep allowing yourself to lust, if you keep choosing lust, that is what will grow within you. If, instead, you choose to meditate on Christ and his provision, then *he* will grow within you. The choice of the man you are becoming is yours in every thought and in every moment. Only Christ can help us remain vigilant! FREE (The FREEdom process) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit Freeze-frame every thought “...we take every thought captive to obey Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:5b Run every thought by the Spirit of Truth “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” John 16:13a “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5 Expose and exchange the lies with the truth “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 Exercise the truth “Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23 ‘“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”’ Luke 22:42
Honestly you’re right, it does. And I’m sorry about that. Yes and yes that’s true. Yes, you’re I gotta stop feeding lust. The amazing thing is that after a binge of lust, if I’ve stayed away from PMO, P-Subs and G-Stuff, the lust will stop. But yes, I agree. I gotta stop feeding it. Yes, that’s so true and I highly agree. It’s so easy not to do that, but I gotta do that. Okay and okay, I will. Okay, got it. Yes, yes and yes, that’s so true, I understand. Yes, yes and yes, I highly agree and understand. Yes, I need to do that. you're right, that’s so true and yes it is. Yes, that’s definitely so true. these are all really great verses. Thank you for sharing them.
