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Rising again to break my 140 record.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by jesusson, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. Jan 25, 2017 #1
    jesusson

    jesusson Fapstronaut

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    Well, i have to say that it's really hard to experience relapsing after 140 day of NoFap , since i relapsed , i binged too many times , i touched the bottom of bottom , i remember that i have masturbated for 4 times in less than 24 hour while watching porn and nudity . And after every relapse i feel so ashamed more than before , entered an infinite cycle , lost the light for more than 4 months , i remind myself after every relapse that what i am doing is really shit and not normal to last like that in my life .

    I need to be build my successful career life , and make a good family , while i am still stuck in this addiction not even moving 1 inch , watching my other colleges have a very successful life while i am stuck in my position , i have no pleasure to compete them , to prove myself to people and to me , i am so drained of my willpower and have no pleasure in life , that's all what i feel as a result of porn.

    I used to watch my browser history after every relapse and here comes the awful surprise as after i finish fapping i read the links that i have visited after i am done and founded that i was really watching disgusting staff i can't mention here , and i asked myself what the hell is this clips that i watched ! , how come i reached to this point of nastiness , is it really my brain that drive me to this extend in order to satisfy my fucken wide mouth pleasure centers in my brain ? , huh ! i can't believe it .

    But after while i begin to forget the blames and start the cycle again then back to the same point !! , you know guys i've made recently some analysis to myself through watching my browser history i founded that i have exceeded 50 videos on youtube per 1 time fap !! and 20 on porn sites , which equals +90 min per 1 fap multiply 3 times OMG what the hack is that !! , i am killing my brain , i left nothing to my brain to help me through the rest of day ! , no focus , so lazy , i just need to eat and sleep like cows !!!

    That's why i came back again to you guys share with you my new start i have passed 3 days now and my short goal is 12 days , so wish me luck to achieve my goal.
     
    jesusson, Jan 25, 2017
    jesusson, Jan 25, 2017
    #1
    Strength And Light likes this.
  2. Jan 25, 2017 #2
    bill evans fan

    bill evans fan Fapstronaut

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    Good luck. 140 days is better than I've done. it's definitely taking you in the right direction. 140 days no PMO is a period in your life you can be proud of. I personally found that taking away the self-loathing feeling is critical to avoiding feeding the cycle. Remember forgiveness doesn't have to negate discipline. Actually they both reflect a better level of mental health, and feed each other. Hope that helps.
     
    bill evans fan, Jan 25, 2017
    bill evans fan, Jan 25, 2017
    #2
  3. Jan 26, 2017 #3
    Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I really do sincerely wish you the best of luck with keeping a permanent streak alive. I know you can do it!
     
    Strength And Light, Jan 26, 2017
    Strength And Light, Jan 26, 2017
    #3
  4. Jan 27, 2017 #4
    zeusnotfapping

    zeusnotfapping Fapstronaut

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    All the best man!! And I do not think that whatever work you have put in through these 140 days was futile. I think your brain must have significantly rewired itself through this streak and you will become the same person after just 1 week of nofap as you were before your 140 day relapse.

    You have my support. Stay strong brother!!!
     
    zeusnotfapping, Jan 27, 2017
    zeusnotfapping, Jan 27, 2017
    #4
  5. Jan 27, 2017 #5
    vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hey man, sorry to hear about your struggles after such a great streak.

    I don't know if this helps you, but I've been on a 147 days streak too and then reset 2 times, then watched lot of p subs for about 5 days, but could resist (took me heavy willpower, but it was worth it.) What really helped me, was taking some notes in a little book. One of these was, that's is better for me to be horny and resist the urge, than to be back in the circle again, where it takes about one week to get out of the crazy cravings and mood swings. Like everytime I had to climb that mountain again (after each fap), no matter what. That's the only way.

    I know this a different situation than yours, but maybe it helps.

    Stay free & strong! :)
     
    vibemaker, Jan 27, 2017
    vibemaker, Jan 27, 2017
    #5
  6. Jan 27, 2017 #6
    jesusson

    jesusson Fapstronaut

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    I really appreciate your motivating words guys , thank you a lot for all what you said , and i promise you to stay strong , because there is still a hope as long as we are taking breath in this life :)
     
    jesusson, Jan 27, 2017
    jesusson, Jan 27, 2017
    #6

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