Hello again everyone, I'm returning to try and start my journey again after some pretty rough life events. I feel like I need to tell my story just to process everything more. I had to put my dog down... He had some pretty bad aggressive behavior and bit/attacked/mauled several people despite all the training and medication we tried. The final bite was when he ripped into my face and I had to push him off (80lb mix), which all happened in front of family. Then I was cornered in the house for a while by him and couldn't move (I was just gushing blood all over the floor) or he would go at me again. Eventually he calmed down and went back to normal. Every time he bit someone over the last year it got worse every time and eventually evolved into no warning sign before hand. I had to call out of work this year because he also bit and cornered my wife. Also, had to pay the ups guy a hefty bribe because the dog mauled him. Despite all of this we had him for almost 3 years and I still love and miss that dog every day of my life. Losing him and the events up to his final moments launched me into a full blown depression. After the final bite I made an appointment to have him euthanized, when I showed up they told me they couldn't do it and that I had to wait 10 days for rabies. So then I had to wait 10 days with him walking around the house and attempting to attack me and my wife. Despite this my brain took a major hit having to see him every day, a dog I still have all this love for, a dog I just want to care for, and just seeing him and knowing he was on deaths row for that 10 days killed me inside. But it had to be done, we couldn't live in constant fear anymore. So then I took him in to get euthanized and literally just bawled the entire time. I buried him on our property by one of his favorite spots. I just sobbed digging that grave and I keep thinking of his dead body slumping into it. I genuinely feel like the gears in my head just stopped turning that day, like the machine that is my brain was on its last leg and finally just broke. Now here I am... and as you can imagine I'm not doing great, I miss that dog every single day, I picture him by my side on the couch, I think of all the good times, and I think "why did this have to happen?" I am having trouble moving on. As you can imagine why I'm posting it here is because the PMO has become even more out of hand. I know it's sick, but it's how I have been coping with depression... that and booze. I don't think me and my wife have had sex for 3 weeks... Today I am here wanting to change, wanting to start my journey again, wanting this to work! God has been my only saving grace through all of this and I will turn to him like never before. If I can shake the PMO and excessive alcohol use my brain should recover. Concerning the dog trauma I think that might take a while to process... If I could afford therapy I would go, but that will have to wait. Thanks for listening!
I'm sorry you had to put your dog down. We have pets and one was killed last winter by a wild animal. Sad day for us and the kids as we buried it in the backyard. It sounds like you did the right thing. Given he attacked people in the past, he probably should have been put down after the first attack. So you showed him an abundant amount of patience and grace. How long did you have the dog? What'd you enjoy about him? What was his name?
Many churches offer free support/recovery group meetings. One of these might be a help to you. It is tough, maybe impossible, to process through all this stuff alone.
I'm so sorry :-( What happened to your dog? I mean, why did he become so aggressive? In addition you can search for information about grieving process, it will help you to understand your feelings and emotions. Try to express them in a calm way and let you cry if you need The grieving process typically involves several stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not necessarily experienced in a linear fashion and can vary from person to person. Some people may also experience feelings of guilt or anxiety during the grieving process
We have a couple of two year old labradors. One is a very clever female the other, her brother, is larger and unfortunately not as gifted with the ability to learn and work out problems as the girl. Frankly, I think he is so compulsive he simply cannot help himself. He understands most of the commands we give him but at times, he simply cannot make himself comply. Furthermore, he is scared of any unusual noise and any stranger he might meet. I think his reaction to fear of strangers is to attack. He has latched onto the arm of a repairman on our place whom I didn't first introduce to the dogs. I worry that someday he may turn out to be uncontrollably aggressive as did your dog. Do these symptoms sound familiar?
We had the dog almost 3 years. When he wasn't high anxiety or dangerous, he was unbelievably sweet, he was calm and loved to cuddle, he loved to play. He also made the best hiking buddy I could ask for. He was also a great shoulder to cry on in times of need. No, my dog could follow and learn commands quickly. However, when he became aggressive (which could happen in the span of half a second) it was game over. He was going to hurt someone, would froth at the mouth, his hair would stand up on his back, and he would lash out at the closest individual even if he knew them. It became impossible to predict when he was going to lash out. He also would howl to the point of complete exhaustion (8 or more hours), sometimes he wouldn't be able to bark or howl for 3 days from straining his vocals so bad. Just make sure you monitor your dog and take notes on his behaviors. Fear reactions are standard to an extent. Our dog has had severe anxiety since day 1, even medication and professional training couldn't fix it, so his fear reactions occurred often and were lethal. He became more and more aggressive over a long period of time. He always had severe anxiety since day 1, but it only worsened despite everything we tried to help it. Eventually as his anxiety continued to increase his aggressiveness did to. I believe to a certain extent in his mind he understood that the worse injury he caused the quicker it would stop a situation. Examples include, moving his food bowl, coming onto his property, petting his face, moving him, crating or kenneling, answering the door, walking past while he is sleeping, etc. There was a plethora of situations that would trigger a severe bite. I chalk up his aggressiveness to inherent mental issues. Genuinely it did not seem like he enjoyed life at all by the end of it, he was constantly on edge.
