Relapsed. It’s Bad. VENT.

Hi team,

I’ve been having trouble lately. Finding it hard to go over 10 days. I’ve been trying to stay away from PMO for 10 years now, and have mostly been successful, but things recently have just been difficult. Yesterday and this morning, I PMO’d. Back to back days. I can’t remember the last time that’s happened. It’s so stupid. I know I should stay away but I don't actually do it all the time. And once you start indulging any temptation or peeks, it’s hard to stop until it’s too late.

It’s also kinda pathetic, tbh. I’ll be in the bathroom, watch something on my phone, and finish in the toilet. While the shower is running so my wife just thinks I’m showering.

My wife knows about this addiction, knows that I fail sometime, but doesn’t know how often. She has the password to the restrictions on my phone. Sometimes, I’ll have her type it in so I can add websites to block. I have to do that. This website I discovered recently that’s unblocked is so dangerous. I hate doing that though because it’s kind of an admission of defeat. But she’s always supportive and never asks questions.

everytime I cave, it’s hurt my relationship and sex life with her, and risks making this a long time daily habit. That’s unacceptable. I have to get past this.

thank you for reading. Open to any comments.