Saw the opportunity to relapse in advance and actively planned it, looked forward to it. Three days later my behaviour is ruining my life again. So going to set the clock to zero and try again.
Trying writing a trusted friend a check that they cash if you relapse. It helped me. Make it an amount that will hurt. Good luck this is a very important battle. You are not alone.
I had a terrible relapse last week....worst since joining the forum. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.
Same here. Think of it as an exercise of will. I see you made it to more than 20 days (a great achievement!), if you can get more than it in this new try, then your strenght of will is increasing. Keep this pace and there will come the day when you will clean your brain and everything will be easier.
I'm sorry to hear that, but know that you are not alone, I know the feeling of regret and self loathing. After a good period of abstinence I have just been through a few weeks of relapsing, constantly making excuses for myself, playing games with my mind and yes like you even planning my own downfall. I'm seriously off course again and really want to get back on track. All the best to you mate.
