I have a problem where I’ll go 2-4 days without really having to fight many urges, then for a week I’ll be relapsing every other day if not every day. Any tips on staying the course and recovering after a relapse?
I have a few ideas that may help: Try writing a short passage to repent for your past mistakes, it could be PMO addiction, or any other things. Also write a few words on what kind of person do you want to become. Every morning, spend a few minutes to read it, remind yourself of it every day. Even if you are demotivated, try to read NoFap materials / forum for at least 10 minutes every day. Consistency is the key, make it a habit. Every time after a relapse, write down what the trigger is. Learn from your mistakes. Try not to repeat it again. And try not to binge, as it is bad for your health. It's okay to relapse. As long as you are consistently trying to improve. And please be reminded that, strong urges come and go, they will subside if you manage to get through them. For example, you may start to have strong urges after 2~4 days, but then they may go away after Day 7. So they will not be there forever. And if you can get through a period of strong urges once, you should be able to do it again. For me, I fight my urges by observing them come and go, without commenting on them. I try to feel I have the power to choose not to react to those urges. I will do this as soon as I notice any of them pops up. Don't give up, and I wish you good luck!
When you start feeling that urges are coming, just go out somewhere for a walk. At the beginning you'll have to force yourself to do it but it helps. It helped me and right now I'm really enjoying walks. And observe yourself in what kind of situations urges are coming it helps to find your triggers. And don't worry, in my opinion relapse is part of reboot. I relapsed many times, sometimes after week, two weeks and now I'm 56 days without PMO. Keep it up, and again don't worry if you relapse. Until you want to win with PMO it's great and every day without it you are closer to victory.
I suggest an AP. Hopefully, that will reduce relapses in the first place. If and when they occur, speak in detail to your AP. Specifically explore what you could have done to avoid it and what you need to prevent any repetition during the chaser effect. Accountability and 1:1 advice in real time is invaluable.
To be completely honest with you, nothing works, it is just you who has to have the discipine, self control and complete complete 100000% commitment in your deepest core to want to live the Nofap lifestyle. Other things like walking, Accountability Partners, music, and so forth will NOT help if you have not made the absolute commitment on both conscious and sub-conscious level to be done with this shit. It has to come from deep within, from your core, from your WHY!!! You will lay in your bed one day while doing nothing, you will be alone in your house one day, you will feel bored one day, you will feel shitty one day, you will feel depressed one day. It is at THOSE moments that you have to control yourself from your core without grabbing something else. Good luck and I know you can do this
