Relapse day 14

Hi all,
I relapsed on day 14 of the challenge but can confidently say it was not all in vain. I found myself browsing the web innocently, curiously trying to find out how old Kylie Minogue was, which then led to google images and then the inevitable happened haha. I PMO'd twice yesterday and three times today. But it made me discover something very important.

The effects of those 14 days of abstaining were mentally very real as I can now see through retrospect because my brain is back to how it was prior to commencing the challenge. My head is foggy, depression is back along with anxiety. I am up now writing this at midnight because I can't sleep, I feel wired from my binge which was what I previously thought was a normal state, whereas I was out like a light around 9:30 and slept like a baby the last couple of weeks without PMO. Confidence was through the roof and I was enjoying all social interactions which had progressively become a chore to me over the years.
I haven't abstained from PMO or MO for more than a day for years so these last couple of weeks were a real eye opener and were basically the golden pill I've been seeking. I can feel that my head has returned to how it was and has reminded me of what it was like for years before I discovered NoFap. Because I am now aware of the physiological effects MO have on us I feel almost hungover from my binge. I was oblivious to the effects PMO/MO were having on me prior and this relapse has encouraged me to never let myself come back to where I am tonight, ever again.

The effects are real. It's like a drug that drains you and saps you of your lust for life. It may not only be robbing you of relationships but also life itself and the enjoyment you're missing out on through things that may seem mundane to you at present but are meant to be enjoyed and are essentially what life is all about. If someone had told me that PMO could be a reason for anxiety, depression etc. I would've laughed at them a few weeks ago but I can now say with 100% confidence that it is the reason for ALL my problems. The black dog following me was well restrained until tonight.

Keep your hand off it guys and good luck to everyone with your own unique personal battles. Fapstronaut out!