Recovering 9 years addict

Hey guys
I am a 22 years old male. I have known of nofap for several years now and I have masturbated/watched porn since I was 13.
the first time I thought I had a problem was when I was 16. I thought that fapping everyday and watching porn daily was preventing me from getting a girlfriend and having confidence with women. I read on nofap and some people said it was related to porn and masturbation. went on a 59 days streak which from day 14-40 I actually felt more confident but not sure if it was placebo or not. but blew it all away on on day 59 as I felt I hit a brick wall and didn't feel like it was improving my confidence (fatal mistake) so I started binging and went back to PMO which I felt worse after.

now that I am older, I realize that I only got really addicted later on in life. When I was 18 I started going on sites like omegle to find girls to masturbate with. This habit turned out to be much more destructive than normal porn as it is more addictive and way more time consuming, and the shame aspect is real on this one. from 19 up to now, sometimes I can spend several hours a day on these apps looking for girls to cam with and masturbate up to 4-5 times. This habit also lead to use of other similar video cam sites (wont mention names to not trigger) that are paid, which also caused me to actually spend money on this shit (I would say about 500$ total in a span of about 3 years).

Now I am 22 and on and off on nofap for about 3 years now but ever since high school, never went past I'd say 2 weeks because my addiction has gotten really bad (and so did my loneliness honestly, which I think is the real cause for my addiction in the first place and one of the reasons why it was better in high school is I had more hope in myself and interactions with girls/more female friends). It is so hard to stop as I am in a loop where doing what I do makes me sick, as I spend hours upon hours on this nasty habit only to feel like a worthless piece of shit after i'm finished.

the loop happens when I feel lonely and depressed as I feel behind in life with no intimacy, and because of it I masturbate many hours a day on porn/cam sites, only to feel like shit after I do it as I feel like a loser and then the loop starts all over again. part of the reason I feel lonely is because I never really had an intimate relationship with a women (other than kissing a few girls) and never had a girlfriend, which is very irregular for my age in my country as most of my friends/people here had gfs or at least lost their virginity until the age of 19.

On the surface everyone thinks I'm a normal guy and no one knows the extent of my addiction, not even my close friends. The only ones I told are my father and mother but they think I stopped long ago, and my therapist. I have been going to therapy for 3 years now, but honestly I don't feel like the therapy is improving anything in my life. It did help for the first year or so, but for the past year and a half my confidence took a blow and so did my motivation to improve. Because of this, We don't really focus on improvements anymore but more on the general status of my life (day to day issues, confidence, sometimes porn but lately we haven't brought it up as I keep relapsing and basically not improving so there's no point).

I hope you will not judge me and be able to understand my situation, and give me some motivation as it is very hard for me to not lose hope with this addiction, and also will be glad to hear tips on how to improve life as a whole in a manner not related to PMO, as I learned from my 59 days streak that quitting is not enough you need to find something else to fill the void of the addiction. If anyone wants to chat with me via DM I would love to hear your story, Thank you for reading