Really trying to stop cyber and online erotic roleplaying.

I know this is a late reply of when you posted this but I am just seeing it now. I am very sorry and I actually have the same exact story as yourself. I know you probably won't read this nor do you probably post here anymore but please feel free to reach out to me through private message.

 

Seems like you love creative writting and these fantasizing processes. Why don't redirect those creative urges to some other meaningful writting/storytelling projects?

You should start focusing on making some of these stories 4 real too if you know what I mean

This makes me remember a guy on a forum that discused about prostitution and whore reviews, and that guy made really eloquent descriptive and detailed reviews of his sexual experiences. He remenbered every single line of the conversation. What a sex geek hahah.

 

I think it's time to get a little more grounded and spend less time on fantasy land.
A spiral of detachment and loneliness...

I do have a multitude of interests, I never intended to be a writer, my interests circle around technologies, web development, webmastering and product/system design.

But I do have an idea that has been growing on me since my early teen years, writing and artworking are the tool to achieve it.
I've been battling to get a .com domain, that represents the brand name of this concept story. I already have the .net. And last year I had a missed chance and for my misfortune a domain squatter grabbed this deleting domain in microseconds. The domain is now listed for 4k $ and 4 years ago it had deleted but I didn't believe in this project so I just delayed and it eventually got registered by someone else.

I have a base reality concept written in 10 pages.

I daydream with this almost everyday for many years, my parents that I live in a world of my own, they're probably right

I didn't want to be a writer, in fact writing has never been my strength, I'm portuguese and languages had never been my forte, I was always the worst student throughout my middle school in "portuguese" subject.

Writing is a tool to represent my vision, if it isn't for this idea I'm probably never gonna become a writer. (At least for fiction)

But I'm still stuck at university in a Computer Science related area. It's not CS but Information Technology (IT).

Focus in one solid idea / concept, an alternate reality / reality system. And live that alternate reality that you'd like to live. Simulate and live the realities of those character whether they are male or female. They will become your new friends.

Forget writing. Writing it's just a tool. For example if you want to create a new trend or technology. Forget coding. You know the basics. Focus on that alternate reality. Envision it. Don't wander too much on little disconnected pieces of different stories. Create a single main alternate reality. And focus on that development.

This way you can feel more focused in a writing venture with a solid purpose that consistently grows on you.

BTW my username represents a "shadow" character of this story. It's me.

 

Welcome. My problem was very similar to yours, and I think there are in fact lots of us for whom chat rooms were the issue, not porn. Chat rooms are so much more addictive, as they are interactive and you can build your bespoke fantasies into the conversation

Like you said, chat rooms absorb an enormous amount of time to build up the right chat. In the past this has not only taken over my usual daytime activities, but also eaten into my sleep, which is where it no doubt started affecting my mental and physical health. I'm sure you're familiar with the sensation of seeing hours go past, of missing meals, of going til past midnight, or even chatting until the sun comes up! How stressful and awful the next day is, with the exhaustion, and the fear that you won't be able to cope with what that day will throw you. Sometimes I felt like I wouldn't make it.

However, I cannot deny that some of the conversations I had were immensely enjoyable, to the point that I was shaking and couldn't breathe properly.

My advice is to set up blockers (K9 or SelfControl, or both). But I also like your idea about reminding yourself how much more we can do in a day! There is also that gentle but deep satisfaction of doing wholesome activities all day.

Feel free to start a private conversation with me.

 

@Nouvel Homme , I have also tried pming you in the past since we are going through the same thing! But it said I couldn't. Would love to have someone else to go through this with, me and StoptheRP also help each other out. You can try PMing me if you want since I can't PM you.

Thanks bro.

 

I have to wholeheartedly agree with IGY. Roleplaying in chatrooms was a huge part of my PMO addiction, and like you I used to spend hours on them, sometimes even pulling all-nighters just to find that "one perfect RP", as you described.

You have to completely cut them off. They are absolutely considered pornography for our purposes, especially since they help you get off.

 

This. My problem was with webcams tho.

 

Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this post, because I can relate to it as well. I can even try to guess which websites the OP refers to.

I've used to spend hours in such chatrooms, discussing ideas, creating characters, meeting people, masturbating for hours without orgasming, to the point in which my penis would be sore and hurting from the inside. Sorry for the graphical description but it's true.

Even today, 42 days without accessing it, I simply get these weird fantastic ideas of characters and situations I'd like to play as. Which is all very frustating. Each time, after finishing it off, I would be left numb, empty, disoriented, and hurt. I would ask myself "where is this road leading me to?". I had to plan the periods of time in which I'd be playing so my wife wouldn't notice my sore skin or my lack of sexual drive.

In my experience, it seems to me that I entered these websites in search of a very special kind of attention. I wanted to feel desired, I guess, and to be felt like that I would wear any mask just to hear a bunch of lies in a screen. The thrill was simply too much: more than once I had my hands and legs shaking, heart racing and gasping voice.

I like RPing as much as any tabletop RPG player likes. I play regular DnD with friends and it's super healthy. The problem is not in RPing per se, but in the content. In this particular website I used to enter, I would browse though an infinite amount of characters, each one with its own fantasies and drives. As time went on, I felt like I became more acceptable to things I wouldn't be weeks before. Disgusting, impossible or forbidden stuff. Which is simply ridiculous.

I think it might be even worse than porn in some aspects. When you watch porn you are actually watching real people have fake sex. When you RP, it's all fake. Your sexual gratification comes from something, like, metaphysical, lyrical, devoid of existence. Empty.

Which also shows how powerful a brain can be, I guess. Hope you manage that well if you intend to write books as you stated. Drop me a PM whenever you want!

 

I had that problem too, I was able to kick it pretty easily, mine was on a computer when I was younger than it moved to Kik. If you talk on your phone as you do it and you have a Droid phone out your account on someone's phone so they can monitor you and what your doing

 

I'm in the same place kinda, except not as addicted. I know I'm getting addicted so I've cut it out, and trying to stay away from it.
It has taken up a lot of my time as well. Sometimes I wake up at stupid o'clock and instead of going to sleep, I go on my phone. Anyway, I'm trying to just go cold turkey and quit like I did with P.

 

Hey All,

I am not sure this thread is still active but I am going to give it a try because I am struggling with the same issue and this is the only source I have found in my searches that relate to my problems. It's funny, I had to double take when reading the original message that started this thread because I thought it might have been me, it was the exact struggles I experience and word for word the same problem! The only difference is I never posted here before but on reboot nation instead.

So... I just finished an epic cyber sex session and as is the common trait in all the above responses, I feel awful about myself. I've wasted most of my day, missed appointments and haven't taken steps to do anything productive. I'm 37 from the UK but living in Germany and I have been struggling with this issue since I was 29. After a very difficult breakup, I found a site (no longer in existence) and have been doing this on and off since. I dread to calculate the hours I have lost in the pursuit of this bad behaviour and it is time to stop because I am wasting my life and time is too precious.

I am dubious as I type because I know I have been here before. I really do want to quit but I don't have the strength right now to do this alone. There is so much more I could say here but basically, I need support. I feel isolated with this issue and I am scared that if I don't stop, I will be alone forever. If I don't quit this habit and find a way to manage I am going to ruin my life. I feel so awful about myself.

I hope everyone else here is doing well with their recovery and if you are reading this, please feel free to reach out. I hope to support others just like I need support.

Good luck and take care.

D x