Ran from thing to another... I'm so fucking tired

No, not at all. I think you give the thought of a “relapse” too much power over you bro. It’s all in the head. Nothing intentional was done there, no porn was involved, no masturbation was involved.

Whatever happened, whatever it may be, in all honesty it doesn’t matter right, does it? Think about it, your perception and reaction will change depending on what you think the outcome was.

On a side note, I know what you said has nothing to do with wet dreams/nocturnal emission, but I wanna say something about them regardless. They happen but that doesn’t count as a “relapse’ or even a “slip”. They just are. It’s natural involuntary orgasm, the body flushing the sexual fluids out. Even if by some interesting circumstance that was supposed to happen during the day when awake, or peeing, it still would NOT constitute the “definition” of a nofap relapse.

I think you might already know this tho, seeking reassurance online is a temporary fix, but feeds the compulsion to keep returning back to it when that assurance is gone and you need it again.

Please try to enjoy your life, and move through the ups and downs of this journey without throwing labels on if something is black or white, good or bad, all or nothing thinking. If you keep obsessing, It will just lead to mental suffering and cause low self esteem. Believe me, I know.

Also, just a question. Lifestyle wise, I understand you do not pmo, but what about semen retention? Are you choosing to do that, hence putting so much value into the idea of not releasing your energy? I’m curious, because I’ve seen a few of your posts in the past, asking others if x) was a relapse, etc etc

Wishing you the best, I know you’ll rise above the suffering and grow into a stronger person than before you fell into the claws of the negativity.