Quitting Fapping & Fantasizing forever - a vow of life from a Tantric practitioner

Hi Brothers,

25M here. Got introduced to Pornography by age 16 and slowly got addicted to PMO. However, around the age 21, I took my first step in Nofap, and after several relapses and got some decent streaks of 100+ days twice, 60+ days once and multiple streaks of single digits.

Now, I don't consider myself as a PMO addict, but however I do Tantric masturbation, which is affecting my life. In practice of Non-ejaculatory Orgasm, I do masturbate slowly and sensibly, where I have reached NEO many times without ejaculation during Tantric masturbation.

I won't lie, this practice has served me in lot of ways:

1. Bliss in the whole body for the next 4 hours after NEO masturbation.
2. Gave a hard-hitting realization that we are chasing ejaculation all the time, not even enjoying the intricate beauty of female body and feminine energy by staying present and giving attention.
3. Gave a realization that we all are 'actors' during sex, which means we replicate what we see in Porn films or more accurately, what our mind drives us to do so unconcsciously. Conscious sex is never a forceful grab of boobs or hard slap of ass or rough and hard fuck to ejaculate the semen 6 feet away with a great force, but it's much more appreciative of the feminine body and drinking the honey and enjoying it slowly kind of thing - slow and enjoyable movements with no intention of ejaculation or orgasm at all by feeling full sensory bliss.
4. Massive confidence boost, as the sexual organ started to come under my control, as I was able to easily extend a single session of Tantric masturbation for 1-4.5 hours.
5. Mastery of NEO. Now, even if I'm hit by a sexual urge, I think of indulging it, only to experience NEO. The regular ejaculatory orgasm is out of picture. It's not even tempting anymore, it's disgusting to be frank.

The important key takeaways from this practice which opened my eyes to a new reality:

1. Male sexual pleasure comes in waves. Your penis can be equally stiff, your body can be equally excited, however the pleasure can't be the same in two different occasions of a single masturbation/sex session.

2. Male sexual organ is ridiculous. It doesn't operate on external pleasure, it operates on the internal mechanism such as muscle tension - (Buttocks, Thighs, stomach & pelvic floor), pressure from Urine, breath. And, a sequence of sexual urge for just 5-6 seconds is enough for male sexual organ to gain an orgasm. The same visual/physical element might be boring before, suddenly it would become so exciting and interesting, and orgasm happens within a split second regardless of primary, secondary or even any non-sexual organ in a woman's body. It's the mind and excitement-driven force/pressure that operates the male sexual organ's ejaculation. If mind and force are kept zero regardless of how much ever pleasure we are experiencing, NEO is a piece of cake.

3. The pressure from mind, and habit is the enemy in this area. We have trained our body to masturbate to take the semen out. Or, to rush towards the pleasure. This is a destructive habit. Pleasure shouldn't be chased. It should be let to flow to us, and it will come in cycles. And the experience of pleasure (orgasm) doesn't have anything to do with ejaculation. Ejaculation only has a functional relationship with muscle tension, forceful habit and mind. Since pleasure should be let to come to us, any form of forceful habit is destructive to this art.

4. In fact, no form of pleasure should be chased, no act should be forced een a little, no outcome should be expected to get. Experiencing pleasure doesn't equate to increasing the force of the action. They don't have any relationship. To put things into perspective, let me say that pleasure and force have inversely proportional relationship in the act.

5. We are so used to pressure or force our sexual urge, unconsciously. This is because of the conditioning we receive from Pornography and movies. Natural stimulation where 'we' are not part of it in any way is so healthy and beautiful. We should get ourselves out of the equation when it comes to stimulation and experiencing sexual pleasure. No participation in it, just reception. This is the holy grail - a great secret about NEO.

However, this practice has held me back in the following ways:

1. Brought some unlucky situations. I don't know how much of you guys believe that fapping has to do with bringing negative energy situations into our life, but I got stolen $2000 once and my trip to my hometown got cancelled at last minute, where I would have easily met lot of my friends and my family members.
2. Still the 'lust' resides inside me, and wants to 'fap' sometimes, dressed as the desire to 'master NEO more by giving it another try' - however I end up ejaculating after achieving multiple NEO's.
3. Because of this, I'm not even able to cross 10+ days in my new streaks. I'm not able to handle the extreme energy after 10 days, and because of this I decide to give NEO a try, and fap.
4. Whenever I ejaculate in terms of 'getting NEO right' practice, my own being gets disturbed the very next day. I can't just sit peacefully, something is torturing my being. Everything seems unsatisfactory. I'm in disappointment mode all the time. This is the impact of a single session of semen loss. It will take one week to gain back the momentum. However, it will take just 2 seconds to lose the progress. The mind convinces that this is 'just one time'. Try to be aware that this is the mind which is being possessed by the sexual urge. Try to be normally aware of the situation and don't focus on the mind's saying. Try to focus that energy somewhere else. This is how you succeed.

Now, I don't see these things as negative occurances in my life. Millions of things to appreciate in life, and focusing on 2 or 3 negative incidents doesn't make any sense to me. I see those things as valuable piece of wisdom wrapped up in a dirty package.

I've faced the dirty package. Now what's the piece of wisdom I'm going to extract from it?

Invaluable piece of wisdom is this:

Learn from other's mistakes and suggestions, so that we don't have to travel their path and experience all the hardships that they've faced to get their own 'valuable piece of wisdom' for which they have to face their own 'dirty package'.

By this way, we don't have to face the hardships that life uses to teach us something, but rather we gain the golden nugget for free.

I hereby take a vow that I'd be sticking to this principle for my entire life.

I hereby take a vow of abstaining from all solo-sexual activities like Tantric masturbation, practice of NEO, fantasizing - and will follow Brahmacharya while alone.

I hereby take a vow to indulge only in NEO, during sex, and will not ejaculate except for kids.

There are many incidents where I overlooked the wisdom that some practices offer and the 'saving' from experiencing the bad outcomes that many practices offer, but I have to revisit those things and review my decision.

Many a times, the overlooking of the practices happen because of it's simplicity.

Such are those practices/activities that I'd be following for my entire life.

1. Consistency is the King. (Gym, Guitar and any practice to be followed) Do it *DAILY* no matter what.
2. Do the boring basic tasks everyday and gain great advantage in life.
3. Pomodoro is unbelievably effective. (Just start one pomodoro timer and do the task, if you feel bored or don't want to do it). "What to do now?" Time can be greatly utilized if a pomodoro timer is switched on, and focusing on productive or emotionally rewarding tasks like gratitude.
   
4. Nofap is for life, no matter how much urges hit you. SR gives you superpowers, makes girls go crazy for you and changes your life in an unbelievable manner. Stick to it till death.
5. Urges are a great potential that your body is reaching higher levels of energy. Embrace those urges and let it pass.
6. Lust must never be entertained, only to be witnessed to pass away.
7. Ejaculation for kids is the only allowable ejaculation.
8. Semen Retention gives you superpowers which are not explainable with the ordinary science.
   
9. Ejaculation drains your kidneys, so great kidney health requires permanent retention. Do it for your kidneys.
   
10. Tibetan Rites is really an anti-aging exercise, and makes one look like 30's when he's actually in 80's. It also makes one to live till 110+ age.
11. Qigong is very beneficial, and it makes you go 'high' without any drugs.
12. Gratitude is unbelievably effective, and it can change your life upside down.
13. Cold showers is a great way to revitalize the whole body everyday.
14. Scripting the future and feeling it works 100%.
15. 6 healing sounds is greatly effective and it increases sexual pleasure.
16. Everyday meditation helps a lot in spiritual journey.
17. Awareness on breath can be done anytime & anywhere, and have a great spiritual benefit.

I would be living a life of a permanent retainer from now on.

Keep those streaks going kings!

Cheers.