Question for women...

phuck-porn! · Jan 27, 2018

GG2002 said: ↑

I think the point that is being missed is that this is a forum where most of the addicts are trying to gain forgiveness from their partners and rebuild relationships. So whether an addict believes pmo is cheating or not arguing with a partner they have betrayed and hurt about what is or is not cheating is not geared towards this common goal. In making this argument an addict has one purpose to downplay their own actions and make themselves feel better. What other possible reason could there be wanting the be right and for her to be wrong? If that’s what is important to the addict when he’s engaged in horrendous and hurtful behavior then he is not sorry and extremely selfish. You are invalidating her feelings and in doing so you are not going to get her to come to see things your way you are going to lose her. The goal on the forum for most is to not lose her. If that’s not your goal then do whatever you want!

When we deal with feelings or opinions there is not one right answer. It’s not like a fact like Washington DC is the capital of the US. If someone says I define it as cheating you have ever right to say you don’t. What you don’t have the right to do is tell them the way they feel is wrong and that they must adopt your way of thinking. As humans we all come to the table with different life experiences and react and feel differently. You can’t tell someone how to feel. And you certainly can’t tell someone who you have hurt that they are not hurt because you don’t think what you did is that wrong. Or I suppose you can but you won’t have many relationships or friends.

I think in relationships we all need to pick our battles and ask ourselves what is this conversation or argument going to achieve? So what is arguing with your SO about this going to achieve? It’s going to achieve her walking out the door. Is it worth that? What’s more important to you?

You cannot successfuly win any argument when it involves how someone feels. If you do “win” the person you have defeated is your SO. Why would you want that? It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to concede when your SO is in pain. It does not make you less of a man.

And really spend less time arguing about whether it’s cheating and more time focusing on your own recovery.
Click to expand...

Wow @GG2002 brilliant post. Should be on the front of NF somewhere!

Thanks for this great reminder of the bigger picture. **Bowing*"

Log in

Question for women...

phuck-porn! Fapstronaut

Share This Page