Question for those who've gone 30+ days no porn

I think that you should just download a porn filter so you won't have any urges at all. And you shouldn't have sex until your reboot is totally complete, because you don't want it to be slowed down. And those are just urges, I get those all the time. You just gotta learn to distract your mind from urges and triggers. It's all in your head.

 

Oh okay. So your goal is to avoid porn, not to avoid masturbation?

 

For me the strongest urges are when I'm bored. Boredom = mind goes towards PMO. I think the key to nofap is adopting a hobby that you can substitute at those exact times.

 

Exactly!

 

I've found that the urges are strongest at whatever is my current "record" of being PMO free... earlier this year it would always be at the two week mark because that's when I would relapse. Later I started pushing it back further and I've gotten to a point where the urges really start to come around 40 days.

But there's also really strong urges the few days after a relapse as well...

 

I'll share this every time


This concept of "willingness" to recognize the thoughts / urges to go back, and then let them pass by without acting on them. It's basically saying, "Yes, I recognize that I'm having that thought to go back to PMO, but that's just a thought I'm having. It's nothing less or more, and I can choose to act on it or not." I'll focus on something else, and eventually, after a few minutes, those thoughts will go away. That's seriously been the most powerful thing for me.

If all else fails, sometimes also verbally telling myself "NO!" out loud helps

 

After the beginning urges, there have been some waves and more isolated urges. I think my attitude has had more to do with bringing them on than the calendar has. If I'm lonely or depressed, I am more likely to feel the urges. It helps to feel happy, connected, and successful.
I have noticed that as I consciously approach a goal, and right after making a goal, I get stronger urges.

 

Have you ever thought about increasing having more intercourse with your wife more than 2x/week? That might lessen your urges to relapse.

 

A reboot time of no sex with your wife and no MO is to reboot your brain and get free of PMO. It is not forever, just to clear your head than reintroduce sex with your wife in a healthy way. Its just taking a break..
But also, as for as urges coming i had to learn my triggers over time of when the urges hit. I found if im really tired, angry over work stuff, or felt wronged or fucked over by someone, or being around my parents for the holidays would make the urges come back.. so i take extra care at these times.. i have 8 months after lots of slips.. a full reboot i put off for years, i feel better than ever.

 

With respect to your goals, I am wondering what do you consider a healthy amount of masturbation?

I have joined this forum after my relapse of doing PornFree only for 72 Days. It was pretty easy for me to do just that. On average I have masturbate every 3rd Day (of course there were time when I masturbate for 3 days in a row and there were times when I was clean for week). But never more than once per day.

However, I got bored of it and relapsed. But that still did not solve anything, I DO NOT LIKE PORN and I can pretty much live without it. But masturbation... that's another thing.
Every time I go for 10+ Days of NoFap I feel miserable, my life is a mess and I am forced to deal with all that. The only reason I masturbate and relapse is because I want to escape from all that. My record is 45 Days of NoPMO.

So, I am not writing all this to share my life story. I am asking you why are you masturbating? What is the reason behind that? Are you doing it for the pleasure it provides or are you trying to escape from something/ emotions?

I completely support you on your journey and I wish you luck. However, I think you should stop with masturbation at least for some time, because you have a healthy relationship with your wife.
I mean, there is nothing wrong with masturbation if you are doing it from time to time to release tension, but sooner or latter it won't provide enough satisfaction and it might lead you to porn.

Yet, I am not pushing anything onto you, just sharing my opinion.

Good luck whatever you chose to do!

 

Stress, injury, sickness, or just not feeling at your best can always bring on urges. That's what I learned when I conducted a 90 day reboot that helped me tremendously. Boredom plays a role as well, so you NEED to have another hobby about which you are passionate.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your biggest purpose for this 30 day challenge? I started to make assumptions and write down my opinions, but have deleted them so I can understand from your point of view what you hope to gain from this 30 days.

 

see above.

I totally AGREE with this. Boredom plays a HUGE role. I'm on vacation (more accurately, a stayaction for a whole month). It's nice, but it can be boring, hence, trigger for masturbation. Vacations CAN play a role in many, many triggers or also many, many memories such as sex with a woman, etc.[/QUOTE]

 

"The temptation to quit is at its maximum when you are just near to achieving it." - Himanshu Modi

 

It feels like every time I relapsed, I did it on a day's when I lacked sleep.
I guess that makes me feel like a crap and I want to avoid feeling that way. Masturbation helps, temporarily.

 

Know the feeling because orgasm/ejaculation can knock you out with a good sleep. Makes sense.