Premature Ejaculation during NoPMO (Semen Retention)

This Problem will never stop I guess. I wonder if I concentrate myself too much about romantic love and think that I need a Partner.
And then sentences coming through my mind like "Will I never experience romantic love in my Life until I die?" And yes I imagine kissing a woman. And then I think that I am not worthy to be loved because I dont look good. My face is ugly and I am a short person with only 1.65m. (Which is 5 foot 5) I really like it when Woman treating Men almost like a Baby sometimes. I like tenderness I like softness.. I like a peaceful and loving relationship. A woman who has compassion is a good woman atleast for me.
And everytime I am fantasizing about such a beautiful relationship I am releasing some precum....even if my fantasy in my mind is not about Sex, i find it so beautiful and so harmonious that a Woman truely loves a Men. Stroking his head and smiling at him with true love. These are things which I wish so badly.
A True Love that is not about self enrichements, Egoism, Materialism and Capitalism.
The idea of "WE" is present and fully alive.
And maybe this idea is something what makes me horny, because I dont see this feeling in todays society of Relationships anymore. It is simply dead. Love is dead. Compassion and mutual Understanding is dead.
Having Sex with a Partner which both sides truely loves each other is deeper and more natural than having dumb Sex only to satisfy your both sexual desire. Maybe I should forget Love in general to free myself from releasing Semen. Maybe I will die alone. This feeling is so hard to accept, but I have to be prepared.