Porn destroyed my life and hapiness

Hello everyone,
I registered today and I am proud of being an officiall fapstronaut now.
I started consuming porn at around age 12, really cant remember anymore. First there werent really any changes in my mood. Back in this time (around 14) i was fit, extroverted, did well in school, and had some lucks with girls. I knew two girls had a heavy crush on me and a third one was heavily flirting with me (i was also interested in her).
I felt pretty awesome that days: I had a girl begging for my attention (flirting, touching, but nothing sexual happened) and two other chicks were waiting to talk to me too.
But as the time went by and my porn consumption got increasingly intensified, i stopped riding my bike (i did it everyday and very excessive e.g. 30 miles in one day), stopped playing soccer (did this three to four times a week), stopped meeting with friends (from regularly to literally nothing), gained extreme much weight ( from slight sixpack to obese) and stopped every contact with girls (I wasnt interested anymore).
I only did well in school because it was quite easy for me and i literally had nothing to do with my life.
Then i graduated, studied Bioengineering and Chemical Engineering and now i am attending Med School. During my graduation and college phase i completly lost hold on my porn habit. In school i watched like 3 hours per week and some weeks ago i would binge 5 hours straight without realising the time passing. Also my taste got extremly weird and now im watching stuff i was once disgusted of. I started with some easy milf, anal etc and now im watching 4 k double penetration anal prolapse or trans women anal shit. In real life i would literally cry for what happens to this girls, but on my screen i get off to this shit. In reality i am totally into vanilla with lots of kissing, hugging, cunnilingus etc, but my porn is extreme.
Some weeks ago i really got hit by a book and realised: I am 21 years old, never had a girl holding my hand, never had a girl lying beside me, never kissed a girl, never sexually touched agirl, never had sex with a girl, never had a relationship. My dream ( father of a bundle of kids and lovely wife) seemed unattainable.
I already started my nofap journey and had two 17 day streaks with PMO and one current 54 day streak of MO.
Today i relapsed and i now know i cant handle it on my own with youtube and reddit.
My biggest problem: I am really depressed (maybe flatline?) if i am reaching like day 15 because i cannot escape my life. I feel like i left my life at age 12, did nothing in between, and now im thrown back in. Everything was abandoned or i did not take care of. I have only two true friends (one of the better aspects of my life), i am obese and eat like shit, i sweat when i take the stairs, i have zero option on chicks, i have no hobbies and i am sitting at home all day because there is nothing to do execept studying.
Some positive things happened while i was on my streaks: I got really motivated to meet new people and go outside, start hobbies, sport is fun now, i am interested in soccer again (Lost complete interest due to porn), girls are staring at me, i appreciate the true beauty of women and i like little things in life way more. But all this is nothing compared to my depressive thoughts on gettings girls.
My relapse was literally based on the thought " even if i am now dating a girl, i cannot have sex with her because of my PIED, so my only option is to watch porn and feel a little bit less depressed about my life.". To Cure my PIED would take like one year and i cannot live on year without any lust.
Now guys, i hope you read till here: How should i quit if porn is one of the few things in my life that lift up my mood? How should i quit porn if i am not able to get girls for the next year beacuse of my PIED? How should i abstain from lust for a whole year to cure my PIED? Did i lost my good life forever? Is a girlfriend/wife and sex/physical touch even worth going through hell?