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Porn and stimulant addict

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Corelsa, Oct 2, 2015.

  1. Oct 2, 2015 #1
    Corelsa

    Corelsa New Fapstronaut

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    Hello.
    My name is Sam. I'm from Finland and am a porn addict combined with stimulant addiction. Perhaps talk of drugs is forbidden, then I apologize. My problem is that I always masturbate obsessively and for hours on stims. I understand the connection to
    the dopamine reward pathways in the brain. It's like a double dose and once I start,
    I can't stop. It's ruining my relationships, my mental and physical health and my job. Just this week I missed a day at work because I had been up all night masturbating on stimulants. I had to take sick-leave but couldn't go to the doctor to get the doctor's
    note because I was too messed up after a night of no sleep and drugs. This is not
    singularly a drug problem because I always combine pornography with it.
    It's gone so far I cannot even reach a proper erection despite a medication used to treat erectile dysfunction so I don't even climax. What a useless, destructive waste of time! Moreover, I am unable to have normal sexual relations. I'm going to see a sex therapist and start to follow the guidelines and advices
    presented on this website. I hate myself for this and truly hope I could get rid of both of my addictions. With the help of this site and other people struggling with porn addiction, I hope I will make it.
    "The greatest of empires, is the empire over one's self." - Publilius Syrus
     
    Corelsa, Oct 2, 2015
    Corelsa, Oct 2, 2015
    #1
  2. Oct 2, 2015 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hi Sam. I understand your experiences--i've had similar ones. use of drugs combined with p, for hours at a time, night (or day) after night). for years. be encouraged that there are others here who are coming from the same place.

    one line of your post jumped out at me and, because i am familiar with where you've been, i wanted to offer something i have discovered. you say that you hate yourself for this. about a year ago i started realizing (through constant meditation on myself, i.e., constant non-judgmental self observation) that part of what was fueling my addiction was the need to get away from feelings and thoughts that would arise periodically.

    fearful, self-loathing thoughts and feelings

    so i tried an experiment. what if i practiced and got into the habit of loving myself, forgiving myself unconditionally, no matter what i did or didn't do regarding p or life otherwise? no other behavior was modified, but over time the guilt and the shame associated with PMO lessened and then disappeared, and that one change, alone has been HUGE. i no longer need p as much, even though i wasn't "trying" to get away from it. also the mental fog, the emotional ups and downs, the mental discombobulation associated with it all has practically disappeared. it has been a constant practice, though. it goes something like this:

    "i forgive myself and love myself unconditionally, no matter what i say or do, because i know the core me, the me that hasn't changed since childhood, is innocent, loveable, and loving. none of this is my fault or anyone's fault, and i give myself permission to love and forgive myself past, present and future"

    something to try earnestly...

    now, unburdened of self-loathing, i feel i might actually succeed at the 90day reboot i just started! best <3
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 2, 2015
    Deleted Account, Oct 2, 2015
    #2

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