Porn Addiction and Abuse

See this thread.

http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?5266-Sexual-abuse-and-pmo-addiction

 

Hi, I'm new here. I can relate to your story,

I was never sexual abuse but I was constantly being bully or emotionally abuse by my sisters for the majority of my life. As a kid to teen there were many times I wanted to kill them or myself and I did try to kill myself before. I never understood why girls hated me so much. I hated being near them or live with them, this affected my school work and my thoughts. My parents would try to stop them but it would never work. I think it has lead me to a life of sex and porn addiction. I am 26 year old now and basically fail at everything I do. Also I have no connection with women, basically I cannot relate or talk to girls. I miss my relatives marriage or funerals because I am so afraid to see them, is been 5 years since I last saw them or contact them. I just wish there images would leave my head so I can get on with my life. Everyday is a struggle for my addiction, I attend SA meeting and hope to help me get through it each day. I do understand your abuse and congrats for being porn free since end of 2013.

 

It's really hard to tell to be honest. I suffered sexual abuse when I was younger, and I'm also struggling with a lot of other stuff now. I don't know to what extent those events have affected who the person I am today, and frankly it doesn't matter. What's done is done, you can't change the past. You have to accept what's happened, stop blaming yourself and move on, focus on the future and be at peace with your past It sounds brutal, but it's the only way you're going to be able to move forward.

Speaking scientifically, it's very difficult to observe and quantify the biological effect of abuse, it's far too easy to jump to an emotional conclusion that it was the direct causal factor for your habits now. It's probable that for every person who has a PMO addiction who's been abused in some form, there's another who's been abused that doesn't.

 

I was abused by a family member as a boy and I was beaten a lot by my parents.
Could be a link, personally I think there's a link to porn addiction and abuse

 

I was NOT abused as a child. I did get my regular spanking, but no where near bad enough to be "abuse". So I cannot attest to this theory.

 

Remember, men, we are not talking all or nothing here. We are talking about trends, about probabilities, about tendencies. No abuse does not mean no porn addiction. No porn addiction does not mean no abuse.
Sexual abuse at any age is sexual conditioning and can effect future sexual behavior, either knowingly or not knowingly. Sexual abuse victims can turn out to be porn addicts or they can turn out to be abstinent until marriage.

What happened in your life and how it effected you is what is important to you. Resolve the past, live and enjoy the present, prepare for the future.

Blessings to all.

 

thank you for your support and kind words, Yes I been in NoFap and no porn for a over 15 days now.

 

I don't pay attention to any of these theories because it doesn't really matter.

If 40% of abused children become porn addicts and 10% of non-abused children become addicts, it doesn't matter because they have both ended up in the same place.

If 40% of non-abused children and 10% of abused children become addicts, they have still both ended up in the same place.

I know it is not easy, but I would forgive your parents and move on. Even if only in your mind. Because you holding on this grief is only making things more difficult for you. What happened in the past has happened. There is no way to change it. So let it go and move forward.

 

I was not sexually abused by my parents or a relative when I was young. I got the customary spanking from my dad but never from my mom. I was introduced to sex when I was around 8. We lived on a dairy farm and lived in a house next to the owners house. They had a son and daughter the same age as my twin sister and I. I can remember the first time we were playing hide and seek and Brenda, the daughter, asked me to hide in the closest with her. She lifted her dress and didn't have any panties on. She pulled my pants down and got me hard and it went from there. We did it every time we got a chance. I guess you could label it as sex abuse. I was about 10 when I went after the babysitter. She threatened to call the police and tell my dad. I was more afraid of my dad than the police. Guess that's why I've never been aggressive with women. It's safer to view porn and masturbate than take the chance of someone crying rape.

 

I would encourage people to check out the literature at http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/Problem.s
Despite the focus on alcoholism, much of it applies to whatever dysfunction occurred. Stuff like this can affect siblings raised in the same conditions differently, so it's not fair to tell people to just get over it. Some benefit from the help of a support group.

 

Well put. You're made up of your experiences. Congratulations on making the change. Very cool.