Please help. My problem with femboy/futa/trap HOCD

So I'm just going to clarify that this posts is going to be a lot different to the other posts about this topic because I literally looked through the whole internet and nobody has the same problem (that I've seen so far)

So with what I've seen, most people's problem is that they are ALREADY masturbating to this and they feel guilty and unsure about their sexuality since they're into that stuff, that's not the problem I'm having. My problem is that I don't even know if I have this kind of fetish or if it's just a HOCD thing, I'll explain

So this started in September and is haunting me till now. I have a Twitter account, specifically an anime Twitter account and most of my mutuals are anime fans, some of them are also LGBT, so what happened was one of them retweeted art of a femboy that was...thick (I also really love thicc girls btw) and when I saw it I felt this kind of HOCD feeling, where it didnt feel like straight up arousal but more of tingly sensitive feeling in my penis. This caused me to spiral, after feeling that tiny bit of arousal I was a mess, I kept searching and checking myself to see if I like this shit (I was checking futa not femboy) and since I have HOCD I've checked before with men and I've never felt anything, checking always helped put me at ease but this time, checking, for the first time, did not help me. The feeling wouldn't go away and I had a feeling of depression for months till November but that little feeling kept creeping up on me. Now I just want to add that I also checked with irl futa/femboy and I didnt feel anything thank god but this didn't really help.

Anyway, I was always a hentai watcher, I loved that shit couldn't get enough, and I knew about futa/femboy, sometimes I would see it on my TL but all I ever thought was "ew wtf how do people like this" (not kink shaming just my old opinions) and I never looked that shit up, now my problem is that I don't know if I like it or if my HOCD is fucking with me because I never masturbate to it, I never wake up and say "oh I need to masturbate to that stuff but I know its wrong" nah, but sometimes when I'm watching porn my brain asks "would you like it better if she had a penis" and this won't go away. For my hentai watchers, you know that pink lighting thing they do in hentai? Where they put it on the woman's breast or butt? Yeah that's also what triggers me when they put that shit on a futa, like her penis infact I think it might be because of how the artist draws it, it look like they took their boobs and stuck it on their crotch and tried to make it look hot, idk anyway I can't tell if this is an attraction of I'm just freaking out. I need to know, because I have no intention of watching this stuff or exploring it