Please help me

I'm a 40 years old woman who has been having a relationship with a man at my age addicted to porn.

I found out about his habit by accident during our first vacations together two years ago.That's what's happened: one night after we'd made love, I got into the bathroom and left him at bed checking the internet (he had brought along his pc). When he went to take a shower I thought to take a look at a page I'd visited earlier in the morning and I used the history browser to make a shortcut. What I've found out was really shocking and absurd: In those 10 minutes of my absence he had browsed into 3 or 4 porn videos.

My first reaction was not to tell him anything about it. I had to deal with the idea of a grown up man who right after his intercourse with his girlfriend was feeling the urge to watch porn. You can imagine how that thought lowered my self esteem as a sexual partner. Obviously I could not compete with those ridiculous women pretending orgasms or their perfect bodies.

Besides that incident there was nothing in his behaviour towards me that would alarm me againtst him. No nothing. We were having great time together apart from the fact that sometimes he could'nt keep his erection for too long. Then when I was at his house I checked his computer to find out how often he watches porn and that was on DAILY basis: after work, or mornings on his days off. One day a month after our vacations I decided to brake my silence and told him that I KNEW about his habit.

At first he tried to deny it, then he felt offended by me spying on his privacy and finally felt ashamed of his attitude by saying that this was something he did to calm down his stress. "Seriously???" I asked him "Masturbating make your problems disappear?" And then he threw me a childish lie right at my face "I don't masturbate when whatcing those videos". OK.. I'm not an alien, I have also watched porn videos and I know how unreal it is not to touch yourself while watching it..


Six months ago we moved in together and I recently I checked again his pc hoping that he had quit PMO as our relationship tends to be stronger day by day. I got disappointed again. He had spent an hour fapping or edging after work. I decided to talk to him more seriously.

I told him that PMO is an addiction just like other addictions and that I can not understand why a man of his kind and loving personality behaves that way. I told him that this addiction has a bad affect on our sexual life and his ED lefts me unsatisfied and worried. Told him to quit because it's going to kill our relationship and that I do trully love him to leave him because of that.

He seemed that he got the signal.

I have addresed my last hope to this forum to get a true advice.

Thank you for reading these lines.

 

Thank you both for your replies... I forgot to tell you that after the conversation we had on june 18th (the day I've asked him to stop watching porn)my partner made a promise to quit his habit because it had started to affect our sexual life.

Well, after a couple of weeks I noticed that his sex drive went low and it's been a couple of days that his erections have turned better than I can remember...

We have a long way ahead of us. I really feel that he loves me and cares about our future together.

As for tellling him about the forum, it would be ideal but unfortunately he doesn't speak english that well. We are from Greece and as far as I know haven't found a decent community to share my problems.

Thank you for reading these lines and sharing your thoughts...