Pied suicidal though help

Don’t feel bad, I have done some weird sexting stuff too. Good job with ya 18 day streak.

 

I want try and stop watching porn and stop masterbation. Not sure how long I’ll last haha

 

@Sideshow606 ,

I don't offer advise on these forums, only my own experience, strength and hope.

Suicidal thoughts are a sign of depression. I know, I, as do many people, suffer from depression. The idea, even the the thought that pmo could be screwing up my hormones and chemicals in the brain to the point of causing my depression to worsen is a new understanding of mine.

I suffered from depression long before pmo entered my world. For me, pmo just makes me feel good for a little bit -- much like any addict's high makes them feel good for a short while.

I've been through therapy, on anti-depressants, quit drinking alcohol (sobriety date 2/6/96), yoga, meditation, and more. They all help, they all have their place.

The one thing that has no place for me is suicide. It's a very permanent solution to a temporary problem -- a fact I have to remind myself sometimes.

I'm not a religious person. There is no one book I can point to and say, "what I believe is all in that one book". I am however a very spiritual person.

I've heard it many times, "Religion is for people afraid of going to hell, spirituality is for people who've already been there".

I mention this because I do find relief and comfort in prayer, meditation, yoga, exercise and reading spiritual books.

Taking care of my spirit isn't the only thing I need to do. For me it's, "Mind, Body Spirit". I need to take care of my intellectual side by reading, learning discussions with others about the things I like to learn. I need to take care of my body by eating right, watching my weight, grooming and general health.

18 days of no pmo is not a failure. The goal of NoFap is a healthy sex life. Yes, 'heavy sexting' as you put it is not healthy. But those 18 days are not gone.

I can't do goals. Wish I could, but I can't. For me it's one day at a time. I didn't pmo today and I don't plan on pmo tomorrow. That has worked for me for several weeks and I hope it keeps working for a bit longer. But, speaking for myself, if I do pmo it won't be a failure. I don't want to and don't plan on it, but it will be a opportunity to learn what I did wrong and start a new no pmo cycle.

My goal in NoFap is not to never ever masturbate or have sex again. My goal is to get back to a healthy sex life. Based on what medical science says is healthy. Porn is not healthy for all the reasons NoFap says.

Please keep us in the loop on how you are doing,

L

 

Did you consider the sexting as a relapse or what you consider masturbation from sexting as a result, a relapse?

 

@Sideshow606 ,

What is or is not a relapse is your definition. You define your own program. Some consider not leaving the room when a particular commercial is on watching porn, others believe it's the seeking behavior that is the relapse.

For me, sexting is porn. But, if someone else said that sexting was "real life" for them, I wouldn't argue.

I know that's not a clear cut answer. But, from what your wrote, I think that it is your belief that sexting is equal to porn.

L

 

Hi Sideshow,

Sorry to hear about your relapse, It really can make you feel low, I've struggled recently myself so I can understand your disappointment. I do want to say well done though on an 18 day streak- after relapse focusing on what you did wrong and not what you have achieved is an easy thing to do- so well done on those 18 days! he best thing you can do is start again fresh and put the relapse behind you.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like you are in a dark place! We are all hear for you anytime! However if you are having thoughts about harming yourself there are professional people you can speak to in compete confidentiality- if you feel you need to reach out to someone.

If you tell me where you are based (UK,US etc) I can post some details of agencies that can support you with any feelings you have in relation to suicidal thoughts.

Private message me also if you like and I can also give you those details.

xx

 

Whats sexting? Is it like texting about sexual stuff or what?

 

Yes it is where two people send sexually explicit texts to one another - like phone sex but via text.

 

Bro, I think you don t need to worry that much. It s not some really f**ked up porn genre you re addicted to, so I m sure you won t need that much time to rewire your brain from it.
Just go for a 90 days hardmode streak, start dating real girls, thinking more about real girls in a natural way and you ll surely succeed. I m so sure, because I was in the same situation. My dick used to be dead, while being with a girl. I thought a lot about suicide as well. So I haven t watched any porn for about 1 month and started going out with girls more during that time. Then I met a girl, I really liked. This time I felt like I really wanted her and I ve succeeded after the 3rd attempt with her(without a condom though, but was still quite a progress for me)
The biggest mistake of my life is, that after the sex I thought I m fully cured and it s ok now to continue watching hardcore porn so of course i regressed a lot during that year. The only solution here is to say "goodbye forever, Porn" and rewire your brain by communicating with real partners. It will work 100% even if you don t believe it.