Physical Attraction

Fairly important but it's not the most important thing.

 

It has to be there. But so does emotional attraction. I'd pick a woman I was attracted to emotionally over one who I was attracted to physically. Being able to read and play off each other's emotions causes a whole new world of joy and excitement.

 

For me it goes:
#1 - Physical attraction (Sex is important to me in a relationship, and I am a visual person so physical attraction is #1. PLus why would I not want to wake up next to a beautiful person everyday??)
#2 - Values/Morals/Religion etc.
#3 - Goals/Drive
and then everything else. But these are my top three and they follow behind each other very closely

 

It's important for me to the extent that it will motivate me to want to know what's behind a pretty face. But that's where its importance stops.

Beauty will attract me, but it won't keep me interested. A simple example is stunningly beautiful women that are desperate for attention. If I scent this, I subconsciously act like I don't care about them anymore. Because I guess I don't. In a sense, I cannot "see" how beautiful such women can be after I realize this attribute of their character.

In other words, it's very important but not so much in retrospect if that makes sense.

 

I think physical attraction is important for both women in men and for men in women. I would say that for women looks are more important than for men.

Jordan Peterson said once: Men are actually much less choosy so to speak than women are when it comes to evaulating physical attractiveness. So for example, virtually every one woman can find a sexual partner and usually very quickly. Certainly not true for men. Men rate 50% of women as above average in attractiveness, where as women rate 20% of men as above average in attractiveness.

So a good dating advice especially as a man would be:

"I really really really really really really really have to get hot"

"I don't wanna feel lonely"

Literally, think how you would think about a woman. You think that looks are important to you when choosing a woman? Think the same for women but x2.

Think that for women looks are x2 more important than for man when choosing a partner, so you really have to be the top in your looks game.

 

Your reasoning is flawed and I will explain why.

Peterson here provides some data to show how "choosy" women are. It's true, a woman has generally more options than a man.

But since you brought Peterson up, he has also stated that men are more visual creatures than women and in fact prefer visual pornography when women prefer literary pornography. We are more visual than women and we attribute more importance to looks than women do.

That's a little contradicting, isn't it? Actually, it's not. Women are pickier than men because they have options and that's why they will rate a minority of men as above average. Not because looks are more important to them.

At the same time, consider the fact that we have fewer options and are, therefore, more desperate than women are. Finding about half of the women beautiful is a natural consequence. Abstain from sex long enough because you can't have sex (not because you don't want to) and far more women will seem beautiful to you. Women don't have that problem; access to sex is far easier for them and that makes them more choosy; not the assumption that they value looks more than men do.

You got it backwards and your advice is actually very bad for men. Working out and personal hygiene are important but no man should do these things to appear hot. Such reasons can make you self-conscious.

And what does "I don't wanna feel lonely" even mean? That will make you even more desperate to be with a woman. Being desperate is a huge turn-off for women and they can smell it from a mile away.

Women value character more than looks; the exact opposite of us and what you think is true. If someone behaves like a woman (concerning himself with trying to be as hot as possible) instead of giving priority to building a strong character, they will actually be less attractive than those who don't care about how hot they appear.

 

It doesn't hurt to take care of yourself but I mostly agree with what @DesertExplorer has already said.

I have seen a number attractive women with guys so far less attractive than them that it makes me question if the woman understands how good looking she really is. But then I remember men and women tend to think differently when it comes to dating and relationships. Yes a woman can have initial interest in a guy because he's handsome but she will want to see that the man is doing something with his life, she wants to see that ambition as well as financial stability and masculinity otherwise her interest in him will dry up quickly.

Chris Rock had a joke about this; he said when a guy gets a new girl and tells his male friends, they ask - "What does she look like?", but when a woman gets a new guy, her female friends ask - "What does he do?"

 

I think physical attraction is important but I find that physical attraction can rise up from making a really good connection.