Persistence is key - How I elevated my recovery

Wave tamer · Aug 14, 2020

Shuffledude88 said: ↑

Yesterday was the toughest day so far on this streak.

I was home alone all day. And I was strucked by heavy urges. They just hit me. I can’t say I did anything specific for them to start. It was like a big wave rolling over me.

I did all things I knew in my repertoar. I went to the gym. I took a walk. I took two cold showers. I went to the nofap meeting yesterday. I saw some friends in the evening.

Don’t get me wrong. All that helped. But the urges were still there. And most of all, a heavy anxiety. Before starting recovering for the first time a few years back, I had never sensed anxiety. And since upping my game here this year especially - anxiety has come and gone every once in a while.

It is so tough to handle. I’m sure a lot of you guys in here can relate. But despite everything storming around me yesterday, high waters, winds - everything. I was still anchored in my goal. Both from my end, but I also ventilated to a lot of people and used all channels I had. It wasn’t easy and very tough. But guess what? It helped.

Today I still can sense what I felt yesterday. Maybe it will return, who knows. The only thing I actually do know, is that surrendering to porn is a NO. I can do almost anything else, but I can’t go back that alley. All this which is happening right now in my life is positive if you look at it. I actually feel stuff, sometimes so strong that I can’t handle it. I need to live through it.

Other than all this negative. I also had a great exercising session, I laughed my tears out together with my friends for the first time in a long while. I’m dating someone, and even though it’s early, it might lead to something. I feel something there.

Getting out of the ”PMO bubble” is tough. It’s like getting out from a bomb shelter after years and years and years, and then seeing the real world. The outside, the reality.

That transition is tough. To kickstart your emotional life. For better and for worse. The good times will increase in numbers, and probably the bad times too. But that’s life. Life doesn’t come with cheat codes and shortcuts.

Dare to live life, ”vanilla” style. How it’s supposed to be. It will be tough, and even tougher before it gets easier.

Persistence is key. That is what it’s all about. You gotta grab that inner drive and commitment you have in you. You might be on rock bottom right now, I don’t know where you are in life. Maybe you have been through horrible stuff. Stop letting the past defining you. You deserve so much MORE in life. Start taking the steps today. You are awesome and have it all in you.

I know that I’m walking on the right path. A lot has happened short-term while in recovery. I feel more whole, emotional, happy, confident, etc etc. I won’t call it superpowers, the only superpower I have gained through this is the key to my life. To finally take place in the driver seat and move forward and embrace my true self and potential.

I may not be there yet, but each day I’m getting closer. I keep my eyes on the horizon, but still try to embrace every day.

I’m determined that I’m gonna make it. I dare to dream, I dare to love, I dare to live.

All I want is for you to find the courage to start following that inner light and fire in you. To walk through the fire and kick the chains which hold you back away. You are awesome and wonderful. You deserve so much more. It’s only a decision away.

Start living today. Drop the self-pity and start caring for yourself and make your own way. Elevate your recovery and don’t give up until you find the right way for you. If you relapse often despite doing the ”right” things, then you are not there yet. Put your head down and keep searching. Seek accountability, seek interests, seek people who lift you. Don’t stop searching until you find it! You got it in you.

Say yes to your life and future. It’s only a decision away.
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Well done dude. How would I get on a Nofap meeting. I find that I need the regular contact with other addicts for advice and support. I find I do a post and get a little bit of feed back and then that’s it. I’ve tried SAA but they were really off with me but I can’t do it alone.

Dogwood · Aug 15, 2020

Usually the missing piece is more social connection...which is tough with Covid. Do what you can to reach out to others and you'll feel better.

Shuffledude88 · Aug 17, 2020

Peaceful magic 21 said: ↑

Well done dude. How would I get on a Nofap meeting. I find that I need the regular contact with other addicts for advice and support. I find I do a post and get a little bit of feed back and then that’s it. I’ve tried SAA but they were really off with me but I can’t do it alone.
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Here's a link. https://nofap.com/groups/

I haven't done SAA, but from what I've heard these calls are much more laid-back and simple. Try it out!

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Persistence is key - How I elevated my recovery

Wave tamer Fapstronaut

Dogwood Fapstronaut

Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut