People who think P or PMO is okay.

I am of a different opinion than some people on this thread. I agree with the idea that preaching that P and PMO are OK goes against the goals of NoFap, but I also understand that it's a journey. We are all on a journey that is transforming our minds and the habits we follow, and our beliefs. When you're trying to change all of that, your assumptions about sex come to center stage. Dealing with these assumptions is part of the transformation and should be part of the debate.

When I come across someone who believes that disagrees with my own beliefs (aka believes that P and M have no negative impact on our sexual health), it challenges me to confront my own beliefs. I love the challenge of reinforcing my beliefs and recommitting to my goals. That's why I post on at least 5 threads each day because it helps me get into the habit of reinforcing the thought patterns I want to keep.

In short, should NoFap allow people who preach that P and PMO are OK? I say yes as long as they are being respectual about it.

 

Where is it written that disagreement and turmoil are not part of any struggle? In fact, many would argue that it is an integral component. The lessons that we can learn from calmly engaging in disagreement apply directly to the practice of abstinence from porn, masturbation, or orgasm. We can all learn how to observe a comment we don't like, and respond calmly and respectfully, out of compassion. Just like we're all trying to learn how to observe a trigger and the reaction that it has in our body, and respond with focus and tranquility by refusing to engage in the behaviors that often follow.

We must learn how to model for each other calm and respectful ways of engaging in conversation for the point of learning from each other, not proving each other wrong or being right. Conversely, if it is clear that the other party is engaging in conversation strictly to be provocative and is not at all interested in learning from other people, we must model how to respond in a polite and minimal fashion, making it clear that we will not engage in that form of communication. At other times, it's best not to respond at all, or to have your response clearly indicate that you choose not to engage.

This is actually a big issue, at least in the United States. If you follow politics, or even which you don't, you are likely aware of how anger and hatred have been integrated into the way that people communicate with each other. These are the leaders of our country engaging in conversations with the dignity of adolescents. It is my belief (and many others, for good reason, disagree) that this form of communication is detrimental to society. It is further my belief that the way we minimize it - when we believe it is intended to provoke - is to ignore it. If you feel that you can reason with the person, message them privately or speak to them individually. Engaging with these individuals in a public setting is exactly what they are looking for. Some of them even enjoy it privately. I do not know what to do about them.

Good luck, and try to consider the possibility that this part of the struggle is necessary.