Patterns

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by F328, May 20, 2019.

  1. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Any body see a pattern in porn usage ? Why it happens or triggers or your triggers obvious , I notice mine are especiallly triggered after I get paid at work this money I use some of it to view web cam porn then I use the rest of the work week to recover that’s usually 2 in a half weeks any one can give me advice for this pattern lol thanks any ways just had to share that idea I’m probably overthinking it but it’s worth the shot
     
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  2. The Bink

    The Bink Fapstronaut

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    It's good that you know what your triggers are! Did you consider having a plan before the next time you get paid? For myself it helps if I bring a missle to a knife fight, so to say. Having a plan ready to make sure there is no way I'm able to watch P. It does give myself some headspace.
     
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  3. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    No plan besides maybe block all p .sites
     
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  4. The Bink

    The Bink Fapstronaut

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    Yea I think that is a good one. K9 webprotection is a great blocker. You'll need to set the password yourself though. I gave it to someone I can trust so I won't slip.

    Hope I helped you for a bit man, stay strong.
     
  5. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    I have this routine: I travel for work, do the check-in at a hotel, get out computer and get it ready on the bed; computer on the right, tissues for ejaculation on the left. Then I go get something to eat from MC D, go backs to my room, eat while watching some tv show, and then my circle of 2-3-4 hour of PMO starts and ends only after I decided to ejaculate, after I think I have seen the newest videos that are your there.
    BUT, together with my therapist I’m trying to make this “my time”, deciding to PMO only when I travel for work because I want to (once or twice a month), breaking the compulsory “every day because I have to even when I’m not horny”. I guess it’s a different first step to get out of the circle.
     
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  6. Haddock

    Haddock Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately you really can't rely on blockers. You will always find a way look at what you want to look. It is a good idea though to avoid triggering popup for instance, but you must not consider this as a solution to avoid p.

    Good luck !
     
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  7. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    That’s Intresting I’m probably not gonna try pmo once in awhile I want it to go away for good because I seen who I become of it the problem is when I’m off it I have not gotten use to coping with my life so good and I get stressed overwhelmed and fearful I’m learning about breathing exercises meditation yoga excercise just practices to cope with out pmo and also some dating can help , at any rate I just need to learn to cope with the fear of not having such a good fast way to relax myself like pmo does this takes longer than I imagined at the same time it’s easy as breathing ,
     
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  8. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    But whatever helps you I had a therapist who would have me improve my dating habits to replace the relationship with the laptop screen with an actual women
     
  9. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Probably it’s the wrong way I am dealing with this, but doing therapy too I have to get over a lot of stuff, my relationship is in a bad moment, I try to get in shape... if I see that taking “my moments” and breaking the daily and MUST of my PMOing does not work, I have to go back on hard mode, hoping to overcome the moments I easily relapse
     
  10. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    What you are describing is edging. Edging is incredibly bad as it causes both mental and physical damage.

    Short version: DO NOT EDGE ! EVER !

    Edging is really bad. Edging trains your body and mind to expect and to need prolonged, often very intense, stimulation in order to reach O. That level of mental and physical stimulation doesn't happen with PIV relations. Guess what: when you attempt PIV, your body and mind don't receive the kind of stimulation it needs to O, instead your body responds with PIED and DE. Not good.

    Edging does NOTHING good, so stop. Easier said than done, but it is certainly NOT impossible and very much worth every bit of effort required to stop this damaging activity.

    For more information about edging, have a look at:

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...masturbate-edge-or-watch-porn-without-orgasm/

    DO NOT EDGE. EVER !

    Find something else to do with your time. There are lots of constructive, positive, healthy activities that you can pursue to occupy your time, so select one or more to keep you busy.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  11. marioa

    marioa Fapstronaut

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    The answer is simple "break the pattern". Theoretically it's simple but doing it requires having motivations to why you want NOT to look at porn. The key is to change the way you think about porn as a way to get orgasm to something that has no value and it's cuckoldry when you look at a man having relationship with a woman you desire. It destroys your manhood "Not just sexually" but mentally!
     
  12. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I don't think you're overthinking it, life works on the basis of patterns. We may think free time is when we do whatever we want, but obviously there are things we repeat.

    If you want to get practical about it keep track, and note the time and other stuff you do around the time. This may be a bit challenging but it's what people do if they want to work on their diet and nutrition for example, they keep a diet diary or food journal. You don't do it forever, depending on how often you fap now maybe try it for a week or two.

    And I think you want to track other things that may affect it. For example if someone has a food problem if they track when they PMO and also what they eat they may find when they overeat that is more likely to happen. Or media consumption (food for thought) and what they watched, like what kind of scenes in movies and shows to point to a fairly obvious example.

    Time it happens is interesting too. If you ALWAYS act out at night and never in the morning (if you're even up early enough) what does that tell you? It's interesting to look at.
     
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  13. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Just bought “Your brain on porn”. Thanks for the advice!
     
  14. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Good.

    But please do make sure to read their website post about edging that is in the link in above post. Its very worth your time.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  15. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Just an update on my “my time” with PMO: DOES NOT WORK! I was wrong. So going on hard mode. Looking for cuddling, kissing, even touching with my partner, telling him about nofap, thinking about making him the one who controls my online activity with QUSTODIO, told him to read on thebrainonporn (READ IT!) to have him understand what is happening and what will happen during my reboot. I was a fool to not commit completely to this. I hope it’s not to late for me AND my relationship.
     
  16. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Dude, thanks so much for advising me to read mybrainonporn. So eyes opening! It’s like something inside me made CLICK.
     
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  17. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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  18. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Glad you read it and are finding it helpful and useful. Good decision to do a hard-mode reboot. It is very aptly named: hard mode truly is difficult, but the results are very much worth every bit of effort you put into your journey of healing.

    Let us know how you are doing. Reading and posting here definitely helps sustain motivation, so add it to your "things to do to help me" list !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  19. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Listening to your brain on porn now biggest issue I’ve had with porn is it’s my way to fuck things up so I can get myself clean and together only to fuck things up again and it’s messing with me financially because I got hooked on web cams from rabbit cam or you jizz . These webcams charge by the minute and when I get on I can’t get out of the webcams , I’m planning on letting a trusted family member keep a large amount. Of my savings in a safe account so I can’t get to it large sums of money being spent on webcams is the most obvious problem I have with porn obviously the shame , feeling stupid ,feeling like I’m losing and social weirdness I feel is mix in too at any rate I would love to see my financial life turn around and save a few thousand dollars this will bring my spirits up and have an overall impact on my health and positivity
     
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  20. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    I too let my bf be part of this: telling him about yourbrainonporn, deleting ALL of my dowloaded porn (why should I keep it if I want to stop???), thinking about a parental control app and give him the account. Still thinking about this, because the one who has to fight it is me.
     

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